We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us how they knew when it was time to break up with a friend. Here are some of the most shocking responses:
1. The wedding venue destroyer:
"She called and cancelled the hall my wedding was taking place at because my wedding was the day after her birthday and she was pissed about that. Don’t need that in my life anymore!"
2. The Hamilton super fans:
"They decided to pick a friendship-ending fight over, of all things, the musical Hamilton. We were about to graduate college and I decided to take a job in another state rather than move back home like the two of them did. Instead of being happy, they started telling me all the reasons I couldn't do the job I'd been offered (after an extensive interview process!). They also started constantly quoting Hamilton, which I wasn't super into, whenever I was around, and tried to guilt trip me into listening to it. I was also told that the new things I liked were off-limits and I couldn't talk about them with them. By the end, any time I said something it became an excuse to drag me. Putting our group chat on mute made me cry for a solid 30 minutes, but it was ultimately the right call. We were friends for more than eight years, but when they refuse to respect your career and your choice to move on with your life, it's time to move on from them!"
3. The bringer of uninvited guests:
"She brought a friend that none of us knew, or had even heard of, to a dinner me and my fiancé were hosting at a restaurant to celebrate our engagement. It wasn’t a big party, just a small group of eight or so close friends. Even worse, it was the new girl’s birthday, and she got free cake! The next day, she called me saying, 'I think an apology is in order.' I thought she was going to apologize to me, but she actually demanded I apologize to her for being rude to her friend! I think I was as pleasant to her as I could have been in the circumstance. When I made the decision to not ask her to be a bridesmaid, I knew the friendship was over for good."
4. The secret spiller:
"I had a friend who told people about my miscarriage. When I confronted her, she said she thought everyone knew. I had only told maybe three people. Bye, Felicia."
—Destiny Kyle, Facebook
5. The ride sharer:
"I knew it was time to end my friendship with my best friend when the only time we would see each other was when she needed a ride somewhere. The last straw was when she demanded that I drive her to the Walmart located right across the street from her apartment. When I told her I wasn’t going to unless she actually asked me, she said I was being sensitive and overly dramatic. I escorted her out of my apartment and that was the last time time I ever saw her."
6. The moocher:
"I found out she was telling people behind my back that the friendship had died a long time ago, but continued to use my Netflix, Amazon Prime, and come over and eat my food."
7. The insensitive bride:
"She asked me to be her maid of honor. I said no and offered to support her in other ways because at the time, I was 1. Unemployed for 11 months, 2. On food stamps, 3. Just dumped by my abusive ex, 3. Too anxious to leave the house most days, and 4. Severely depressed to the point where I called a suicide hotline for help and started therapy immediately. She knew all of that, and yet, expected me to magically snap out of it. When I didn't, she ignored me for months, including during her birthday when I reached out, then popped up again like nothing happened to see if we could go to a concert. Fuck no. I told her I was DONE. Mental illness and trauma aren't a joke people! Show some compassion."
8. The compulsive liar:
"I cut off a good friend of mine because he was a compulsive liar. He would lie and tell completely outrageous and frankly, unbelievable, stories to gain sympathy or pity from others, and it was too much for me. The best story I heard from him was that he went to Japan, got drunk off sake, and got a girl pregnant. He said he was going to have to go to Japan to care for said child. A few days before he was destined to 'leave', the girl apparently died. Because of course she did."
9. The pregnancy hater:
"She was more angry than happy for me when I told her I was pregnant after two years of being told by multiple doctors that I couldn’t get pregnant."
10. The popularity thirster:
"I ended a friendship because all the person cared about was popularity. All we did when we hung out was take pictures for Instagram, she would complain about all the things she wasn’t invited to, and about how lame we were, and I’d end up waiting behind for her every time someone better came along. Now that she’s gone, when I see pictures online of her hanging out with other people without me, I don’t have to feel less-than, because I know that she makes everyone around her unhappy."
11. The peeping Tom's mom:
"I helped her through a meth addicted husband, divorce, and a problem child. I was going over to her house at least three times a week to listen to her problems and difficulties of her job, ex-husband, children, money etc., watching her dog for free, helping pick up her kids from school, and taking them to appointments. I found out that one of her children was taking pictures of me using her bathroom and she knew about it and never told me. Six months after the fact, it came out, and she blamed me for having bad timing, and overreacting. I knew that it was time to take care of myself and end the friendship. If my privacy and feelings were going to be pushed underneath everything she had going on, I couldn’t support the weight of being friends anymore."
12. The late payback:
"What ended the friendship was her completely ignoring me after I asked her to pay me back for a $100 concert ticket. She said before I bought it that she would pay me back, but two months after the concert, nothing. I went off on her one day via text, and I ended up getting blocked and unfriended on everything within five minutes. It was a blessing in disguise, though. Without her in my life, I'm so much better off and less stressed."
13. The needy texter:
"She yelled at me after I didn’t respond to her text after two minutes because I was driving. And she would tell stories to people about how mean I was to her to get pity from everyone else. She was a pathological liar who wanted everyone to kiss her ass all the time."
14. The thief:
"When my best friend from childhood and I went to college, we decided to live together in the dorms. He began to steal my belongings and lie to me, but knew how to turn it around and make me question whether those things actually happened or not. He knew how to tell me and others around us his version of what he claimed to happen which made it look like I was crazy or the one lying. It got so bad I even started to question myself and my sanity. It was a seriously toxic relationship and gave me trust issues for quite sometime."
15. The racist, homophobic jerk:
"I knew my elementary/high school best friend and I had been going in different directions for a few years, but the day I accepted I was done with it was while we were out for sushi and she started making outwardly racist AND homophobic comments all at once. It had only been a few months after I’d started the process of coming out myself. We haven’t seen one another since that day."
16. The cheater:
"I was done when I found out she was having an affair WITH MY HUSBAND behind my back."
17. The copycat:
"I realized the growing number of similarities between her and I were not just random coincidence, but things she was actively changing about herself to become me. She showed up on my doorstep one day, with her natural blonde hair dyed dark to match mine, in a pair of matching satin pajama pants I had bought previously. She needed help, ended up dropping out of college for mental health issues, and to this day I still see some things on Facebook (because of our mutual friends) that she’s doing to replicate my life, right down to timing her fertility treatments to ensure her kids were born in the same month as mine. It’s been 16 years and I WISH I was kidding, but it’s all true."
18. And...the worst person ever:
"She threatened to out me to my entire family I am closeted to, still told her family, who also all threatened to out me, because I wasn’t giving her enough help and attention for her wedding."
Some responses have been lightly edited for length or clarity.