I know that a lot of (read: most) people love avocado so much they wish they could marry it, but hear me out: Some people just don't care for it very much.
Shocker, I know, but it's true. And when you don't like avocado, there are certain things you have to deal with. A sampling:
1.When people find out you don't like it, they treat you like you're some sort of alien or monster.
2.But then, they're grateful for you because you'll give them your avocado if it shows up on your plate unannounced.
3.Maybe you don't like avocado because of its texture, which, when it's at its best, is quite mushy.
4.A mushiness that even some babies find repulsive.
5.That mushiness is what makes it particularly gross for some people, especially those with texture issues.
6.Or maybe you dislike it because of its flavor, which is mild, but *just* noticeable enough to be unpleasant to the palate.
7.Either way, disliking avocado is inconvenient, because it's a sneaky, sneaky food. These days, it shows up in, like, every imaginable dish.
8.It's hiding in your ice cream, too.
9.And some people just take it too. damn. far.
10.If you're not paying attention, the soft, squishy fruit of death could turn up in your face mask.
11.Or in your bath.
12.BACK TO AVOCADO AS FOOD. It has a way of infecting every other food it's mixed in with.
13.Sure, it can be unobtrusively served on the side or as a garnish, but when it's mixed into things like sandwiches, it gets all up in everything.
14.Which makes it nearly impossible to extract.
15.So when you take a bite that you think is safe, you're hit with a mediocre mouthful of mush.
16.But on the bright side, while everyone fights over equal scoops of guacamole, you just chill with the salsa.
17.And best of all, you're spared from the imminent loss of fingers and/or hands when preparing your food.
So there you have it. Avocado: Not always great! Please don't @ me.
