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12 Things That Should Totally Be Legal

Who can we write to about this?

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1. Jaywalking.

youtube.com / Via dpaf.tumblr.com

Shouldn't we be allowed to cross the street wherever we want? There's no way this should be illegal.

2. Being drunk in public.

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Being daytime drunk in public is fun. And funny to watch. As long as nobody is getting hurt, this should be allowed.

3. Occasional shoplifting.

We're not talking about stealing from small shop owners. Like, occasionally you should be able to steal things from the big guys. Just like chocolate and stuff.
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We're not talking about stealing from small shop owners. Like, occasionally you should be able to steal things from the big guys. Just like chocolate and stuff.

4. Sunbathing topless.

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Actually, being topless anywhere the hell we want. Because #FreeTheNipple! Why are men allowed to show their boobs but women aren't?

5. Smoking bowls on the beach.

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Like, in every state. Because yes please.

6. Retaliating against creepy and unauthorized street characters.

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Everyone should be allowed a kick or two in protest and/or self-defense.

7. Carrying your soda through airport security.

You hadn't even finished it yet, and now the TSA is making you waste a perfectly good soda? THIS is the crime.
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You hadn't even finished it yet, and now the TSA is making you waste a perfectly good soda? THIS is the crime.

8. Being married to more than one person.

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Different spouses in different houses for different purposes. Is it too much to ask?

9. Actually, being married to whoever the hell you want.

No, but let's be serious for this one. If we love someone and we want to marry them, this should absolutely be allowed. Come on.Update: ‚ÄčAnd now it is! Congratulations, America!
Jose Antonio Navas (CC BY http://2.0) / Via Flickr: joseanavas

No, but let's be serious for this one. If we love someone and we want to marry them, this should absolutely be allowed. Come on.

Update: ‚ÄčAnd now it is! Congratulations, America!

10. Gambling.

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It's our money and we'll waste it on whatever we want to, if we want to! And then we'll cry.

11. Disturbing the peace.

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Which means: When we want to make noise, we can make noise. As much noise as we goddamn want.

12. Getting it on in your car.

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IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

It's time to take action! Demand equality. Help Ted get his life back and sign the petition here: LegalizeTed.com.

Join the movement and watch Ted 2 in cinemas June 26.