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Parents

19 Lies All Parents Are Guilty Of Telling In Public

We won't tell if you don't.

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1. “Oh, no, sweetie! You dropped your cookie on the ground! I better throw that away!”

Because I never let my kids eat food off the ground.
Spohr/BuzzFeed

Because I never let my kids eat food off the ground.

2. “Where did you learn that naughty word?”

From me. You definitely learned it from me.
FOX / Via jl863.tumblr.com

From me. You definitely learned it from me.

3. "She was pretending to eat your son's face? I don't know where she gets these crazy ideas!"

She gets them from watching The Walking Dead with her cousins.
thinkstockphotos.com|fotandy

She gets them from watching The Walking Dead with her cousins.

4. “This is the first time he's bitten anyone!”

Universal / Via diablito666.tumblr.com

Today.

5. “Maybe if you're very, very good, we'll go to McDonald's for lunch as a treat.”

Just like you were very, very good yesterday.
Vintage and Supply / Via etsy.com

Just like you were very, very good yesterday.

6. “Of course I never said that about you! My son just has a wild imagination!”

Paramount

He also needs to learn to keep his mouth shut.

7. "Oops, dirty nails! Looks like we missed a spot at bath time!”

Last week.
20th Century Fox

Last week.

8. “I bought this today, but usually I make all her baby food myself.”

Because the only thing more fun than steaming peas is washing blender parts.
ThinkStock / Via nnovatedcaptures

Because the only thing more fun than steaming peas is washing blender parts.

9. “I made these from scratch!”

Well, someone did, anyway.
Flickr: betzywd / Via Creative Commons

Well, someone did, anyway.

10. "I weaned her at 20 months.”

Rounding up from 10.
commons.wikimedia.org

Rounding up from 10.

11. “No, no, silly, phones are for Mommy.”

And for restaurants, grocery stores, doctor's offices, and car trips.
Flickr: littlebiglens / Via Creative Commons

And for restaurants, grocery stores, doctor's offices, and car trips.

12. “We don't play violent video games at our house.”

Rockstar / Via kotaku.com

They're computer games.

13. "She designed that science fair project all by herself."

First she designed it, then I built it.
Thinkstock / Via cache4.asset-cache.net

First she designed it, then I built it.

14. “She missed school yesterday because she wasn't feeling well.”

Paramount / Via innernocturnal.tumblr.com

And because you'd be crazy to go to Disneyland on a weekend.

15. “We made our own play dough today!”

And that just bought me two weeks of guilt-free screen time.
Flickr: eyeliam / Via Creative Commons

And that just bought me two weeks of guilt-free screen time.

16. "She was pretending to mix cocktails? How funny! She must have seen that in a movie.”

Yeah, in a home movie.
Eoghan OLionnain / Via Flickr: 11742539@N03

Yeah, in a home movie.

17. “We would love to do a play date, but he has soccer practice today.”

And he'll have soccer practice every time you invite us over all year.
NBC / Via giphy.com

And he'll have soccer practice every time you invite us over all year.

18. "We never drink out of puddles!"

Water is water.
Flickr: hlkljgk / Via Creative Commons

Water is water.

19. “I put sunscreen on him at home.”

I did not.
Getty Images / Via gettyimages.com

I did not.

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