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    9 Things I Don't Need From The Bathroom Attendant

    Have you ever been in a bar bathroom and thought, "I wish I had some hard candy right now"? Do you prefer to pay a small fee to wash your hands? If you answered "no" to either of these questions, this article is for you.

    "How are you this evening?"

    Oh no. There's a bathroom attendant. Unfortunately, you can't hold it any longer. The seal is now broken and you're in for a long night of awkward encounters with the babysitter of the bathroom.

    After the first visit, things are gonna get weird. For the rest of the night, expect a half-pump of soap, only one paper towel, and a death glare if you aren't tipping this Charmin chaperone.

    Here are 9 things I don't need from the bathroom attendant:

    1. Paper Towels

    2. Cologne

    3. 5-Hour Energy

    4. Life Advice

    5. Lifesaver Mints

    6. Gum

    7. Soap Pumped For Me

    8. Starburst

    9. Cigarettes