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A Definitive Ranking Of The 15 Wildest Sabotages On "Cutthroat Kitchen"

"Where sabotage is not only encouraged...it's for sale."

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15. Two Balls of Plastic and Aluminum Foil, One Big Ball of Emotion

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... In a kitchen with state-of-the-art appliances, and you're stuck making all the pots, pan, and silverware before you start cooking? Waaaak.

14. Vintage Gumball Machine as Kitchen Pantry

Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... On the outside, it seems like a pretty harmless way to get ingredients for a frittata, right? WRONG. Imagine the endless amount of time (and quarters) needed to twist out the proper amount of cheese and onions.

13. Cooking a Whole Latte' Pasta in An Espresso Maker

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... Essentially you're making pasta in a teapot.

12. Captain Hook Cooks Gnocchi

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... This chef found out why Captain Hook never cooked...after he had a potato masher duct-taped to his hand. Both agonizing and entertaining.

11. The Obligatory Halloween Episode with Unconventional Foods

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... Picture the sheer horror of having to cook a stew with crickets and/or cow's heart. But honestly, if you've seen Fear Factor, or have a worldly palette, this shouldn't be such a big deal.

10. My Cooking Tis' of Thee

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... Lady Liberty would not approve of the fact that this chef had to use her torch as the only source of heat. Who knew freedom cold be so flammable?

9. Let It Go, Let It Go

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... In a timed competition, why get your ingredients from a fridge when you can chisel them frozen from a block of ice? People do this all the time!

8. Breakfast in Bed: Extreme Edition

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... What's more relaxing than being confined to cooking in a twin-bed with barely any heat sources during a high-stakes cooking competition for $25,000 dollars?

7. All Balls Everything

Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... Imagine the nightmare of making meatballs while waist-deep in a ball pit.

6. Tres Leches, Three Udders

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... Milking four different types of milk from an inanimate cow wasn't a-moo-sing in the least to any contestant.

5. The Literal Club Sandwich

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... Have you ever cooked bacon with golf clubs? This guy has. The play on puns is hilariously rude. Job well done, Alton Brown.

4. #HashtagPan

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... This this chef's misery went viral with making them cook a traditional American breakfast in a giant spatula-hashtag pan.

3. Bricklayer, I mean Cake-Layer

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... You'd need a serious cooking foundation to be able to make cake batter in a cement mixer!

2. The Paper-Thin Prep Station

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... This chef making a cutting table out of butcher paper would make him the Sisyphus of Cutthroat Kitchen. Utterly torturous.

And the number one sabotage is...

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1. Kiddie Kitchennn!!!!!!

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Cruel and Unusual Punishment because... It's probably the most humbling sabotage around. What else could literally bring Master Chef and Chopped judge Geoffrey Zakarian to his knees than a kitchen fit for toddlers?

Alton Brown, you are diabolical! We can't wait what to see what evilicious sabotages you have in store.

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