3. Well now you can dress like Mrs. Doubtfire, hot flashes not included.
4. What You’ll Need:
1. A practical updo that holds its shape while you sweep to Aerosmith.
2. Sturdy glasses that bring out your femininely-shaped face.
3. Pearl earrings: two, because that Girl with one doesn’t outdo the Doubtfire.
4. A comfortable blouse in case a run-by fruiting should arise.
5. A lovely broach; you are a lady after all.
6. A thick, knee-length skirt to keep bus drivers from getting any ideas.
7. Skin-coloured stockings, so you don’t have to shave.
8. Sensible shoes, preferably with therapeutic insoles; rushing to change outfits can be hard on the instep.
Bonus points for partially-scorched boobs easily attained by tricking your ex-wife into letting you care for your children, meanwhile making it necessary to attempt a hollandaise when you are unprepared to be in the kitchen; especially so soon after Winston’s passing: God rest his soul.