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The Ultimate Mrs. Doubtfire Halloween Costume

Because every day should be Euphegenia Doubtfire Day, dear.

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What You'll Need:

1. A practical updo that holds its shape while you sweep to Aerosmith.

2. Sturdy glasses that bring out your femininely-shaped face.

3. Pearl earrings: two, because that Girl with one doesn't outdo the Doubtfire.

4. A comfortable blouse in case a run-by fruiting should arise.

5. A lovely broach; you are a lady after all.

6. A thick, knee-length skirt to keep bus drivers from getting any ideas.

7. Skin-coloured stockings, so you don't have to shave.

8. Sensible shoes, preferably with therapeutic insoles; rushing to change outfits can be hard on the instep.

Bonus points for partially-scorched boobs easily attained by tricking your ex-wife into letting you care for your children, meanwhile making it necessary to attempt a hollandaise when you are unprepared to be in the kitchen; especially so soon after Winston's passing: God rest his soul.

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