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9 Reasons To Love Your Internet Accent

They're so pretty. Really. No, really, it's so cute when you don't speak English properly!

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"Cool" Isn't Cool Anymore. Say Hello to SWAG. (If You Don't Know What Swag Means... You're So Not Cool. I Mean, Swag...y...?)

Shakespeare coined "swagger" and now we've decided to take it to the next level in the word creation department. Here's a harmless example of the way our words are changing. Cool or swagalicious- makes no difference really. It's in the next examples that we might begin to see some real problems emerging within the evolution of our language into alien digi-speak...

It Makes Some of Us Feel Like We Can Curse Cleanly

Am I really cursing if I say "WTF"...? I mean come on, Mom. I'm not actually saying the word so you can't tell me I can't spit out some ambiguous letter arrangement. (Mom: "Actually little Jimmy, I can. You are implying a word we don't use in this house. Time out for you!") Our language is becoming ambiguous, and if we decode it we can see that we are hiding some pretty big meanings behind those letters.

G2G Makes Those Emergency Exits Even Faster. Shave Off Those Syllables and Save Some Seconds!

What happened to "goodbye"? If it's spoken or even written, it comes across as irritated or dripping with sarcasm to those who speak Internet English. I once sent a text to my friend that read "goodbye see you tomorrow" and she sent back "are you upset with me??" So really, why is goodbye so mean these days? It has taken on a negative meaning while G2G is the new protocol for goodbyes. (Hope I didn't offend you there.)

IDK Why "I Don't Know" Seems So Long, DYK?

Here we go again with those acronyms. Maybe it isn't so bad right now since we've only got a few common ones, but I am beginning to see whole websites dedicated to decoding these things. My concern is this: are we going to start speaking with letters and just do away with words altogether? WDYT?

Did You Know You Can Get Whiplash From Shaking Your Head This Fast? Yeah. Better Stick to Typing "SMH".

Not only are words being replaced with letter clusters but so are our actions as well. Instead of putting our faces in our palms (which would be really strange to do) we say #facepalm and it's totally acceptable. In the same way, we don't actually shake our heads anymore- maybe for fear of hurting our necks?- no, we just SMH instead. Makes SO much more sense.

It Silences Those People With Really Annoying Laughs

Shaking one's head gets replaced with SMH and maybe that isn't the worst thing ever. Less cases of whiplash or whatever. But what happens when human experiences, like laughing, are subject to substitution of three little letters? LOL, students say as they walk to class. LOL, friends send back to a funny text message. Will the sounds of laughter be extinct if we continue this trend?

We're Far Too Hesitant to Make Great Decisions When YOLO isn't Around. He Makes Us Oh So Brave. Thanks, YOLO.

Let's cut to the chase: YOLO is bad for our health. I have seen it time and time again. Blindfolded motorcycle drive? YOLO! Eat an entire pizza? YOLO! Take drugs that will end up putting you in the hospital? YOLO! How about YO-no.

Internet Accents Sound So Great On These Defenseless, Innocent Elderly People Who Don't Even Know How To Turn on Their Smart Phones.

This GIF looks like a moving oxymoron. You know well and good this poor Grandpa has no idea what he's saying. His grandson is almost positively on the other side of the camera, laughing, and telling him to say this foreign term which he probably once considered to mean playing basketball. This is funny and insignificant, but what are the real implications of this generation being left out of the lingo loop? Is there a communication barrier that exists because of the Internet's technological nature and associated new vocabulary? Certainly. And it's increasing the more we incorporate these words into our young vocabularies.

We Don't Even Have to Use Real Words! Who Has Time to Spell All That Out? Geez. Talk About Exhausting.

Via !

Ah, the major point of this whole sarcasm-laden article. Who decided we don't need words anymore? Let's type letters instead and make our language so devoid of its meaning and humanity that we sound like the computers we have invented! Humans sound so much better when they don't sound like... humans. Right? If that is your opinion, keep typing LOL instead of laughing. Keep saying G2G instead of a heartfelt goodbye. Keep saying YOLO to excuse irresponsible behavior. Keep acronym-ing your actions till all you do is sit and spell out what you mean to be doing. If you'd rather retain your humanity, however, let's go back to the basics and leave computer-speak to the computers.

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