1. Oatmeal raisin cookies put all other cookies to shame.
2. Brownie sundaes are a FAIL. The brownie gets soggy and completely falls apart under the ice cream.
3. Eating pudding is just like eating cheap lotion.
4. Macarons taste like air and disappointment.
5. Thin Mints are the worst Girl Scout Cookie.
6. Lemon desserts are disgusting.
7. Those really pale, soft sugar cookies with the brightly colored frosting and sprinkles aren't worthy of being called a cookie.
8. Cookies, brownies, and blondies are ONLY good when they’re undercooked.
9. Vanilla is the superior ice cream flavor.
10. Cheesecake is trash. It somehow manages to take two of the best things in the world — cheese and cake — and mash them together into some unholy, rancid-tasting concoction.
11. Maraschino cherries taste like cough syrup.
12. Chocolate cake is not good. It's dry, spongy, and doesn't even taste like chocolate.
13. Whipped cream — no matter what it’s accompanied by — is absolutely disgusting.
14. Tiramisu is gross. The sponginess of the lady fingers reminds me of couch cushions.
15. Cake is better without frosting.
16. Cupcakes are kinda gross. There's just too much icing for such a small cake.
17. Pies are literally disgusting. Who wants just a clump of hot fruit?
18. S’mores are the absolute worst. They’re too sweet, too sticky, and just all-around awful.
19. Milk chocolate is too sweet. Give me dark or give me death.
20. Fruitcake is DELICIOUS.
21. Nuts are gross in desserts. Most of the time they just add a nasty bitter quality.
22. Fruit should never, ever be covered in chocolate.
23. And finally, a slice of melted cheddar cheese on apple pie with vanilla ice cream on the side is delicious.
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.