back to top

Are You A True Mumbaikar?

Stop doing chutiyagiri and take this quiz yaaaa.

Posted on
Adam Ellis / Via BuzzFeed
  1. Check off the statements that are true for you.

    Check
    You have sworn at a rickshaw driver
    Check
    You’ve almost hit a rickshaw driver.
    Check
    A rickshaw driver has hit your vehicle.
    Check
    You have argued with a rickshaw driver about tampering with his meter.
    Check
    You have sat in a rickshaw for 2 hours because of traffic.
    Check
    You can never find a taxi.
    Check
    You can never find a taxi driver who will take you where you need to go.
    Check
    You have emotionally blackmailed a taxi driver.
    Check
    You have cried while fighting with a taxi driver.
    Check
    You have bonded for life with a taxi driver.
    Check
    You have argued with a taxi driver about tampering with his meter.
    Check
    You have sworn at strangers on the local train.
    Check
    You have fought with strangers on the local train.
    Check
    You have hung on for dear life on a local train.
    Check
    You know "doctors" who can enlarge or shrink ear lobes thanks to the local train.
    Check
    You have had difficulty breathing on a local train.
    Check
    You have shamelessly elbowed people out of the way to get on a local train.
    Check
    You suffer a mild-to-strong panic attack on hearing the words “Next stop Dadar.”
    Check
    You've tried to call "26407383 Beanbags" at least once.
    Check
    You use the word “chutiya,” “chuth,” “madarchod,” or “bhenchod” at least once a day.
    Check
    You know the full form of KLPD.
    Check
    You judge people based on whether they say "Mumbai" or "Bombay."
    Check
    You refer to pani puris as “pani puris.”
    Check
    You call people who work for you “boss" and you call service people "bhaiya."
    Check
    You refer to cops as "pandus."
    Check
    You can’t complete a sentence without saying “arre,” “ya,” or “acha.”
    Check
    You think adding "no" to the end of the sentence makes it more convincing. Eg: "Do it, nooo."
    Check
    You have been inappropriately touched by a eunuch.
    Check
    You have been inappropriately touched by a man.
    Check
    You complain about the trash on the roads.
    Check
    You throw the trash on the roads.
    Check
    You swear at another driver at least once a day.
    Check
    You swear at the traffic at least once a day.
    Check
    You swear at pedestrians at least once a day.
    Check
    You have familiarzed yourself with every pothole on your regular route.
    Check
    You continue to eat at your favorite restaurant despite spotting a rat.
    Check
    You have found several hairs in your food over the years.
    Check
    You've eaten street food cooked by a man who scratched his crotch with the same hand.
    Check
    You hate the BMC with the force of a thousand overflowing gutters.
    Check
    All your coolest footwear is from Linking Road or Colaba Causeway.
    Check
    And your coolest furniture is from Chor Bazaar.
    Check
    You have bargained something down to one fifth of the original price.
    Check
    You have all the dry days listed on your calendar.
    Check
    Your idea of an enjoyable night is a driving around on relatively empty roads.
    Check
    You have "your guy" for doing everything illicit, from jailbreaking cellphones to delivering weed.
    Check
    You start every drunk night at institutions like Totos, Jantas, or Ghettos.
    Check
    You end every drunk night out with food at a possibly illegal 24-hour street food stall.
    Check
    You pity people who can’t buy “single” cigarettes.
    Check
    Your local wine seller delivers alcohol personally to your place after hours.
    Check
    You've spent your entire paycheck at a club.
    Check
    But now you don't club anymore, you "gig."
    Check
    You've been to a show at Mehboob Studio.
    Check
    You know at least one aspiring actor, one aspiring politician, and one aspiring musician.
    Check
    The word naakabandi scares the shit out of you.
    Check
    You complain about bandhs but secrety look forward them.
    Check
    You can't decide whether you love or hate rickshaw/taxi strikes.
    Check
    You have triple parked your car.
    Check
    You've watched a match at Wankhade.
    Check
    You've taken visiting friends to Azaad Maidan, VT, Haji Ali, and the Gateway.
    Check
    You complain about corruption in India.
    Check
    You have bribed a cop when you got caught breaking a signal.
    Check
    You have bribed a cop when you got caught making out in a car.
    Check
    You have bribed a cop when you got caught using your cellphone while driving.
    Check
    You measure distance in time and you measure time in distance.
    Check
    You have eaten a Schezwan dosa.
    Check
    You have eaten something called a triple Schezwan.
    Check
    You'll eat anything with the word "Schezwan."
    Check
    Your favorite Chinese food is the kind at South Indian restaurants.
    Check
    You have the world’s strongest digestive system.
    Check
    You go to a new restaurant every week.
    Check
    But you go to the same café every week for years.
    Check
    You wouldn't survive without your bai and dhobi.
    Check
    You think cutting chai is so much cooler than espresso shots.
    Check
    When the temperature drops below 22 degrees, you put on a sweater and call it winter.
    Check
    You have narrowly missed driving or stepping over a cow.
    Check
    You have changed your walking path because the sidewalk was occupied by a cow.
    Check
    You judge crowds who gather outside Bollywood celebrities' houses.
    Check
    Whenever you're at Bandra Bandstand you secretly hope Shah Rukh Khan will come out of his house.
    Check
    You have to show out-of-town relatives Shah Rukh Khan's and the Bachchan's houses.
    Check
    You give directions in terms of shops, restaurants, and celebrities' houses instead of actual street names.
    Check
    Open space to you means finding a small spot to sit on the Carter Road promenade.
    Check
    You think Vada Pav is Bombay's gift to the world.
    Check
    You have fought with others for cutting a line but you cut lines regularly.
    Check
    You swear at anyone who honks at you but you honk incessantly.
    Check
    You judge people based on whether they live in East or West.
    Check
    If you're from Bandra you think “Townies are snobs.”
    Check
    If you're from South Bombay you think everyone north of you is a wannabe.
    Check
    If you live in Powai or Vashi, you’re tired of not being considered a Mumbaikar.
    Check
    You have peed in public at least once in your life.
    Check
    You've been to Gaiety Galaxy at least once in your life (and judged yourself for enjoying it).
    Check
    For you, India is Bombay.
    Check
    You've lived through floods, riots and attacks, but every time you get up and head to work the next day.
    Check
    Even if you aren't Catholic, you've attended Christmas mass.
    Check
    Even if you aren't Hindu, you go out in the streets to celebrate Holi, Diwali, and Ganesh Chaturti.
    Check
    And no matter what religion you are, you have broken iftar at Mohammed Ali Road.
    Check
    You complain about Bombay all the time, but passionately defend it when others criticize it.
    Check
    The view you see driving across the Sea Link is the most beautiful sight in the world.
    Check
    You miss the "smell" of Bombay when you're away.
    Check
    You know Bombay is the best city in the world.
    Check
    Oh, and you hate Delhi.

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right

Top trending videos

Watch more BuzzFeed Video Caret right
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.