1. Welcome, leadies and jents!
2. Gents, you may wash your hands here.
3. How about a quick launch?
4. I’d like mine without cheese, thanks.
5. Chaineeeeeeeese takeout?
6. Moms makes the best moms.
7. EVERYTHING IS SO TESTY! YUM!
8. Past food is the best food!
9. Beep steak, medium rare.
10. Mmm, free cock.
11. Or maybe something stronger.
12. Nothing, NOTHING like a child bear to wash it all down.
13. For all you health freaks.
14. Room for dessert?
16. Foot in the mouth.
17. These guys will taste anything. ANYTHING.
18. Full Body Masaz.
19. Cut your child here.
20. Get your eybro perched.
21. Be careful. Naked people ahead.
22. Be very careful.
23. Who doesn’t like to sleep on these?
25. Apostrophes, people, apostrophes.
26. Can’t afford tuition?
27. CONGRATIONS, YOU PASSED!
28. Have yourself a nonmetallic, chemical new year!
Find more of these here.
- Tonight at 8:30pm ET, BuzzFeed is celebrating the biggest night in Hollywood, the Oscars, with a live show and tipsy game of bingo 🏆🍹
- Philip Bilden, the businessman nominated by President Trump to be Secretary of the Navy, has withdrawn himself from consideration.
- Actor Bill Paxton has died at 61. He starred in classic films including "Twister," "Titanic," "Big Love," and "Aliens."
- The Nokia brick phone is making a comeback — reimagined with a colored screen, but the game Snake hasn't gone anywhere 🐍📲