1. Welcome, leadies and jents!
2. Gents, you may wash your hands here.
3. How about a quick launch?
4. I’d like mine without cheese, thanks.
5. Chaineeeeeeeese takeout?
6. Moms makes the best moms.
7. EVERYTHING IS SO TESTY! YUM!
8. Past food is the best food!
9. Beep steak, medium rare.
10. Mmm, free cock.
11. Or maybe something stronger.
12. Nothing, NOTHING like a child bear to wash it all down.
13. For all you health freaks.
14. Room for dessert?
15. Sshhh.
16. Foot in the mouth.
17. These guys will taste anything. ANYTHING.
18. Full Body Masaz.
19. Cut your child here.
20. Get your eybro perched.
21. Be careful. Naked people ahead.
22. Be very careful.
23. Who doesn’t like to sleep on these?
24. SHOOES!
25. Apostrophes, people, apostrophes.
26. Can’t afford tuition?
27. CONGRATIONS, YOU PASSED!
28. Have yourself a nonmetallic, chemical new year!
29. Amen!
Find more of these here.
Contributions
In The News Today
- Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein filed for a recount of votes in Wisconsin, 90 minutes before the deadline.
- Hollywood stars are mourning the loss of legendary "The Brady Bunch" actress Florence Henderson.
- Dylann Roof — accused of killing 9 people at a historically black church in Charleston — is mentally fit to stand trial, a judge ruled.
- PSA: Instagram now tells you when someone screenshots your disappearing photos 👀
