10 Times The New England Patriots Were Cheaters

Everyone knows you can't be that good without cheating. Except for the Yankees. And MJ. And the Spurs. And Kobe. And Joe Montana. And the Montreal Canadiens. And Michael Phelps.

10. They pretended Julian Edelman was a wide receiver for six seasons.

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I'm sorry, but it's pretty deceptive to act like he was a wide receiver for that long just so that you could win a playoff game. He's clearly the second best QB in the AFC East.

9. Brady's first playoff game was in a blizzard.

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Um, you think Bill Belichick didn't plan that? Yeah right. It's so much harder for another team to play in a blizzard and he knew that.

8. Somehow Rob Gronkowski is their tight end.

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By "Rob Gronkowski" I mean "an illegal football robot" and by "somehow" I mean "created in a lab." It's so obvious.

7. They beat Peyton Manning so much that he can't play football anymore.

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So Brady's biggest rival lost miserably in his playoff game because his "body is falling apart" and his "neck is pieced back together?" I don't buy it. That has Belichick written all over it.

6. Vince Wilfork interceptions.

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Listed at 6-foot-2 and 325 pounds, Wilfork has not just one but three career interceptions. That's not a thing. Guess I'll be the one to say it: trampolines underneath the turf. #TurfGate

5. They put Jonas Gray in a LeGarrette Blount jersey to trick the Colts.

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Don't even try to tell me that the Colts' run defense is weak with an inexperienced defensive line and that's why both running backs embarrassed them? This is classic BeliCHEAT.

4. They bet on themselves to lose to the Jets in 2010 then used the money four years later to sign Darrelle Revis.

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There's no other explanation for that loss. Everyone knows if you want to throw a game and make it believable then you don't do it against the Jets. Such obvious cheating.

3. They sent Brady's BFF Wes Welker to dismantle the Broncos from the inside.

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The Patriots' best wide receiver up and leaves to play for the Broncos and within two seasons of being there they completely fall apart. Welker was wearing a wire and spying for Belichick and everyone knows it. #SpyGate2

2. They built their stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts, which is a suburb that's 45 minutes from Boston.

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Nothing says "we have nothing to hide" like building a massive football stadium constantly cloaked in snow in the middle of nowhere with only one route to get in or out. Check "yes" for cheating.

1. Brady is about to become the first quarterback in the history of the NFL to play in six Super Bowls.

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THAT'S NOT A THING THAT HAPPENS AND I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE TRUE CRAPPINESS OF MY OWN FOOTBALL TEAM, SO THEY ARE CHEATERS AND LIARS! WHO DEFLATE BALLS, OK?!