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13 Things That Happen When There Is Theft In Canada

Also known as "borrowing something forever" here.

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1. Reason with the thief. Dave is not mad, he is here to work with you.

2. It's never too late for someone to reform.

3. Offer a large reward. Hey, it's not about penalizing, it's about resolution.

4. But remind them it is illegal to "borrow" something and "forget" to return it.

5. Once you have made peace with the fact that someone is borrowing your stuff forever, offer the rest of the items so that it can be put to good use.

6. Or suggest useful tips so the crime can be committed more efficiently.

7. If you're the burglar, hey man, apologize for the inconvenience at the very least.

8. You are better than this, Steve.

People ARE good. RT @NWCN: Bike stolen from Vancouver, WA disabled couple returned with note:

9. Or take the extra step and offer something in reconciliation. You are a reformed thief now.

10. Put up the notice for them. Again, it's the least you can do.

11. It's OK. We've all been klepto-drunks. We've all been there.

"Dear little boy or girl,

"First and foremost, I am sorry for any grief I have caused in the last couple of days but I am now trying to return your bike to the proper home where it belongs. You see, I stole your bike the other night purely out of selfish convenience and due to my state of inebriation I cannot recall exactly which house it was in the vicinity of this neighbourhood. I think the lesson to be learned here is that you should NEVER leave your bike out in plain view where drunken fools like myself can easily snatch it for a quick (and surprisingly fun) ride home.

"Sincerely, Anonymous Drunk Thief"

12. Leave a compliment with your apology.

13. But sometimes you have to do the bad, to do the good.

In summation: Never steal, but if you do, kindly return it. And if you don't, we hope the stolen goods bring betterment and joy to your life, Steve.