Oh, your roommate will be on vacation? For several consecutive days? And you will have the dwelling all to yourself?
"Aww, miss you." But don't mind if you just:
1. Depants immediately.
2. And live in your skivvies for the week.
My roommate's out of town for the week and so is the version of me that wears pants.
3. Ditch all customs and demarcations of human civilization. Dinner in a flower vase? You go for it.
4. Because you won't have to do dishes until the the very night before they come home!
5. OR, alternatively, if you do clean while they're gone, you get to live in all of the cleanliness without anyone messing it up!
6. DEROBE. YOU CAN LIVE IN YOUR BIRTHDAY SUIT FOR THE ENTIRE DURATION AND FOR ALL CIRCUMSTANCES :
7. Cooking — NAKED.
8. Going to bed — NAKED.
Roommate is gone I'm sleeping naked, it's not even a question
9. Just walking around, grabbing a snack — NAKED.
10. Getting in the shower — NAKED.
11. Getting out of the shower — NAKED, SANS A TOWEL. DON'T NEED IT.
12. Play music. Any genre, at any volume, at any point.
13. Which means DANCE PARTY. ATTENDANTS: YOU. DRESS CODE: NAKED.
Sometimes when my roommate is gone I like to crank my jams and get down with my bad self
14. Pee with the door open.
15. Taste and eat some of their food.*
16. Unleash all your lazy habits. You deserve it.
17. Exercise complete anarchy: leave cupboard doors open and your things in the common-space.
18. (Just, again, don't forget to pick everything up the night before they come back. Like nothing happened.)
But then something happens...
19. Being free and naked is great, but after a few days, you begin to miss them.
20. And realize your roommate makes up exactly 50% of total social interactions in your days.
21. Until you're actually counting down the days until they get back.
22. ...Well, not until you find the perfect way to welcome them home.
