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21 Kijiji Ads That Failed So Hard They Most Definitely Won

And they say it's thriving in Canada.

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1. This helpful descriptor for savvy furniture shoppers.

2. This Mississauga, Ontario teen looking to rent a dad for a few crucial hours.

3. A snowman accessory being sold for $50 in Brantford, Ontario (includes elbow).

4. For anyone who's looking for a room with a breathtaking view of the Atlantic Ocean.

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5. This person giving away a gillty fish (sorry).

6. This dude-certified couch that apparently has built-in superpowers.

"WARNING: This couch will 100% get you laid 50% of the time." Again, superpowers.
imgur.com

"WARNING: This couch will 100% get you laid 50% of the time." Again, superpowers.

7. This Pokemon trainer committed to excellence.

8. A very coveted position opening in Nepean, Ontario.

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9. ...That looks like it might have been filled, illegally.

The listing reads: "Our elf laser lights as well as our inflatable minion was stolen from our front yard late last night. Thanks to those involved for making my 3 year old daughter cry when she got up this morning. Oh, and if the low life that did this is reading this post, don't ever try coming into our yard again because you will be recorded and identified. Get a job and a life!"Ma'am or sir, tell your daughter her minion is probably in Nepean.
kijiji.ca

The listing reads: "Our elf laser lights as well as our inflatable minion was stolen from our front yard late last night. Thanks to those involved for making my 3 year old daughter cry when she got up this morning.

Oh, and if the low life that did this is reading this post, don't ever try coming into our yard again because you will be recorded and identified. Get a job and a life!"

Ma'am or sir, tell your daughter her minion is probably in Nepean.

10. This Albertan item that has detailed wear and tear.

"Got this guy about 8 months ago, wasn't many problems at the start, but now starting to malfunction - developed a noticeable lag issue (doesn't respond on occassion). May need mental rebooting, his hard drive could use a good defragging to forget previous relationships. ...He's really good at drums though."
imgur.com

"Got this guy about 8 months ago, wasn't many problems at the start, but now starting to malfunction - developed a noticeable lag issue (doesn't respond on occassion). May need mental rebooting, his hard drive could use a good defragging to forget previous relationships.
...
He's really good at drums though."

11. A very listing from London, Ontario.

"Wow. Much shibe. such cute, so doge. very sadness to let go of shibe. Both parents run back to Japan. Much sad. so emotion but shibe must continue on 2 journey. Allergies? Wrong! But shedding is many. Very fun to be had with shibe, no danger. Wow. Much health, many shots, so dewormed. Take shibe pls."
imgur.com

"Wow. Much shibe. such cute, so doge. very sadness to let go of shibe. Both parents run back to Japan. Much sad. so emotion but shibe must continue on 2 journey. Allergies? Wrong! But shedding is many. Very fun to be had with shibe, no danger. Wow. Much health, many shots, so dewormed. Take shibe pls."

12. A deal well worth a trip to Winnipeg to retrieve.

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13. And hey! Your lucky day! Your meal is complete only two provinces away.

14. A little advice.

15. A commission you cannot refuse.

16. Someone in Toronto who's been waiting at the top of their staircase for 9 months.

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17. This Edmonton boyfriend with a special item that belongs to a loving and deserving home.

18. These bitter Ontario parents.

19. A bitter New Brunswick divorcé.

20. Another scorned New Brunswicker.

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21. And a very scorned Torontonian.

"We have been shut out in 3 of the past 5 games and have scored only 2 in the 5 games total! We are currently looking for anyone who can physically put the puck in the net for us... Sincerely,Toronto Maple Leafs"
Twitter: @Themehicano

"We have been shut out in 3 of the past 5 games and have scored only 2 in the 5 games total! We are currently looking for anyone who can physically put the puck in the net for us...

Sincerely,
Toronto Maple Leafs"