18. When you’re asked questions like, “If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive…”
Anyone? In the history of humanity? Oh, shit. Can I get back to you tomorrow after I thoughtfully narrow down some options and further break down important criteria?
19. The important seconds before deciding to commit to the second half of a Subway sandwich if you’re almost full.
If you save less than half a Subway sandwich, you’ll have to get more food later to fill yourself off one-fourth of a sandwich and that’s just silly.
But you’re still a little bit hungry.
But you don’t want to be too full off a whole footlong.
- President Trump has given House Republicans an ultimatum: Pass their health care bill Friday or he will move on to other issues.
- FBI agents posed as filmmakers to talk to armed militia during a standoff in Nevada, then used the footage against two men on trial in federal court.
- The suspect in the London terror attack near Parliament, who was killed by police, has been identified as 52-year-old Khalid Masood.
- Donald Trump had a photo op in a semitruck. The photos were too good not to become a meme — and the internet delivered 🚛👍