For Anyone Who Is A Proud And Self-Respecting Scaredy Cat
Do not be shamed this Halloween.
That is not you. Because scary things actually scare you.
And you should not be shamed for this! Because it's OKAY if...
You do not get a ~thrill~ having your heart palpitated from being touched in a haunted house.
You do not enjoy being traumatically mind-fucked after a scary movie.
Because you will be living in fear and paranoia for at least a week after: You will retreat to being a 5-year-old...
Running to your bed after you turn off the lights at night...
Flinching at every creak and chirr around your house...
...And surveying your room one last time for unseen bodies before you fall asleep.
You don't find masked STRANGERS on Halloween night to be sexy or titillating.
You don't believe in "summoning" ghosts. Just... homie don't play dat.
You need a babysitter with you to watch American Horror Story.
You also do not think those internet prank stunts are funny OR cute.
You have fallen into cardiac arrest after watching those pop-up "gotcha!" prank videos your friends used to send around.
If you're not cool or BAMF enough to ~appreciate horror~, do not listen to your friends: It does not mean you're not fun. It just means you're SANE.
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