1. Do standard civilian rules apply to you or not so much?
2. When you issue a tracking number, will you promise to use it?
Or not so much?
3. How do you expect us to retrieve packages like this? Please, we will get out of your way so you can demonstrate.
4. Is this fucking Whose Line Is It Anyway: CP Edition where everything's made up and dates and reality don't matter?
5. Or are you actually able to bend time?
6. What do these words mean to you?
7. Because these special instructions usually account for special documents, you know?
LIKE, A DEAN'S LIST CERTIFICATE. FOR EXAMPLE.
IT LITERALLY SAYS "CERTIFICATE!!!!!!!!!"
8. Did you know that when you leave mailboxes open...
9. Things can happen to the mail? Especially in different climates and elements.
10. So are you going to call my electricity provider for another legible copy of my bill since it got left soaking and smudged in the rain, or...?
11. Who hurt you?
12. Why?
13. We understand the job can be taxing, and to you mail is a notch on your to-do list, but to the rest of us it can be a very exciting and sentimental medium of communication. Can you relate?
14. BECAUSE WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST BIRTHDAYS? 😥
15. What does this expected window of time mean? Tell us how we're supposed to live our lives by it.
16. Why?
17. Why?
18. Why?
19. Is there commission for the number of times an item gets processed in the same facility?
20. And, like, extra points if you shoot it across the country first?
21. Is that a fun game to play? This was tweeted on April 6. We hope Adrian's wife has received her package by now (although it's doubtful):
22. OK, at this moment, no shade or sarcasm: WHAT IS IT THAT WE ARE NOT GETTING HERE?
23. NO IT'S FINE REALLY IT'S JUST PICTURES OF MY KIDS!!!!!
Bonus: WTF are "Lettertainers?" JK, I kinda love that.
