19 Reasons Why Canadian Currency Is Hella Magical
Dolla dolla coins, y'all.
First of all, yes, it's "rainbow money," it's "monopoly money" — whatever you wanna call it, it's colourful eh-eff. And it's fab-u-lous.
Also, the Queen — a lady — is on our $20 bill. Which brings the rest of the world an education.
Sure, sure, you can make fun of our silly $1 and $2 coins, and their names...
But, GIRL, YOU HAVE AT LEAST 6 WHOLE DOLLARS FROM THAT POCKET OF CHANGE SO WHO'S LAUGHING NOW.
Our money has a special built-in technology in the maple leaf, that when you shine a laser through...
The encoded value of the bank note is projected. So darn cool.
You can drop it in a fire and it will STILL KEEP MOST OF ITS COMPOSITION.
And it shrivels down to an adorable pea-size.
Whether or not this scratch 'n sniff maple syrup theory is true, we know for a fact your money probably smells like nada.
Canadians have a longstanding tradition of "spocking" our $5 bills. When Leonard Nimoy died, the tradition resurged to pay tribute.
And for Professor Snape and Alan Rickman.
When people decried "defacement!" the Bank of Canada came out and said it is not illegal to draw on bank notes.
It's built to withstand tearing and decomposition, so if you accidentally leave money in your pocket in the wash, it's safe and sound in Canada.
...but you can't leave some people (Americans) to not try anyway.
It's also just designed really beautifully.
And you can fold it up to a tiny T-shirt.
So, OK, you've got your jokes, yadda yadda ya. And they might be true, yadda yadda ya.
But we're rubber, you're glue. Your words bounce off of us, and stick to you LIKE GOOEY, RICH MAPLE SYRUP SCENTS EMANATING FROM OUR PLAY-WORLD CURRENCY.
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