I spent my 42nd birthday at Disneyland. It was the happiest day of my life. I felt like a kid again, and if you knew the misery of my whole existence at that point, you would understand that this was what I needed to cure my ills. My girlfriend is a former cast member so I know all the secrets but it doesn’t stop me from believing in the magic. Sure, it’s crowded. Yes, you have to wait to see Mickey (it’s for the protection of the people in the suits; when they roamed around they were often attacked). Sure, it’s expensive as hell and definitely avoid Small World if you want to maintain your sanity. Also, we’re big girls but we fit on Mr. Toad’s and all the other rides just fine. So gripe and moan if you want — it’s Disneyland, and it’s the place where wishes come true if you let them. Now shut up and eat your churro, dammit.