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19 Things All Actors Say, But Really Shouldn't

Because drama is part of our DNA.

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1. "So. Many. Lines. To. Learn."

Really? Please tell me more about the career you have chosen for yourself.
Flickr: kightp

Really? Please tell me more about the career you have chosen for yourself.

2. "Where did you train?"

Via CW / giphy.com

Why does this matter so much? Maybe after 10 years or so, it's time to let this one go.

3. "Just off for a #CheekyMatinee."

What is cheeky about going to work at a pre-arranged time, to do your normal job. Please do clarify.
Via atgtickets.com

What is cheeky about going to work at a pre-arranged time, to do your normal job. Please do clarify.

4. "It’s definitely not a Showmance, it’s true love."

Via giphy.com

OK, whatever you say.

5. "Thrilled to announce I've been cast in the fifth national UK tour or my favourite musical. Dreams really do come true!"

goodreads.com

I'm so happy for you. Really I am. Thrilled, in fact.

6. "I just don't know if I can pull this off."

Ahh, the old doubting-myself-in-public-to-get-praise trick. We've all been there.
Via pinterest.com

Ahh, the old doubting-myself-in-public-to-get-praise trick. We've all been there.

7. "I can definitely belt that E flat, but my allergies are really bad today."

Via giphy.com

Let's not blame hayfever.

8. "Text, WhatsApp, or Facebook only today guys - I’m on vocal rest."

Why announce plans to stay silent? Just don't talk for a bit. It'll be fine.
Natalie Blenford / BuzzFeed

Why announce plans to stay silent? Just don't talk for a bit. It'll be fine.

9. "I'm totally loving my agent right now."

tumblr.com

Famous last words. Next week she might drop you. Let's not tempt fate.

10. "So glad today’s casting news has finally come out. Keeping it secret for so long was killing me!"

You say that, but who doesn't love knowing a showbiz secret?
Via Flickr: armadillo444

You say that, but who doesn't love knowing a showbiz secret?

11. "Oh yeah, I know Jon Snow. He was at drama school with me."

hbo.com / Via giphy.com

Name-dropping will get you nowhere.

12. "Question: How much stuff should I take for pilot season in LA?"

Ooh I don't know - how about one suitcase weighing up to 23kg as per airline guidelines?
Mel Peffs / Creative Commons / Via Flickr: peffs

Ooh I don't know - how about one suitcase weighing up to 23kg as per airline guidelines?

13. "Setting the alarm for a 5am pick-up is always sooo wrenching. #FilmingProblems"

Via giphy.com

It's not quite going down a coal mine wrenching though, is it?

14. "Not sure of of my availability for your wedding/30th birthday/barmitzvah, I’m waiting to hear back about a project. Can I pencil you in for now?"

That's fine. Don't RSVP on time. But also don't complain if you end up on the worst table.
Via Flickr: thingsarebetterwithaparrott

That's fine. Don't RSVP on time. But also don't complain if you end up on the worst table.

15. "Let's smash is today guys! After 369 performances, loads of laughs, and the best time on and off-stage ever, it’s time to say goodbye to some of the most talented, hilarious people I've ever worked with. It's gonna be emotional!"

reactiongifs.com

But just last week you were saying you couldn't wait for the new cast to start. Weren't you?

16. "It's totally not my fault the casting went wrong."

hbo.com / Via giphy.com

It's TFL's, the casting director's, your agent's, the girl before you - anyone's fault but yours. Of course.

17. "Almost finished writing my screenplay. Can't wait to shoot and share it with you all, tweeps!"

We can't wait either. No really, we can't.
hbo.com / Via blogs.indiewire.com

We can't wait either. No really, we can't.

18. "Does anyone know a good accountant?"

By which you mean, does anyone know if I can claim tax back for make-up, haircuts and coffee?
Via Flickr: denniswong

By which you mean, does anyone know if I can claim tax back for make-up, haircuts and coffee?

19. "Really can’t work out who should play me in a biopic of my life."

Via giphy.com

That biopic is highly likely to be made, so you really need to decide between Cooper and Gosling ASAP.