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77 Thoughts All University Students Have Had

At uni, wine counts as a food group.

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1. How on earth do I find my way around campus?

2. Seriously though this place is like a maze.

3. More importantly, where is the uni bar?

4. An 8am lecture? Is that even allowed?

5. Fuck this.

6. I'm just going to skip out on buying textbooks mainly so I can still eat this week.

7. I'm sure the info is online anyway.

8. I thought the point of uni was that you were an adult and didn't have to get picked on in class anymore.

9. I actually have no idea what this lecturer is talking about.

10. Pretty sure I didn't sign up for a degree in psycho-babble bullshit.

11. Literally asleep with my eyes open.

12. This mature age student is absolutely loving it.

13. Nerd.

14. What's the minimum number of classes I can go to without failing?

15. Don't even care what anyone thinks but I'm wearing my pyjamas to class today.

16. Oh no, there's someone I went to high school with, must avoid.

17. Essay is due at 5pm... I can probably just start writing it at about midday.

18. I'm really regretting drinking all that goon last night.

19. What will actually happen if I don't eat any fresh vegetables this week?

20. What kind of loser sits in the front row of a lecture theatre?

21. Oh shit I forgot to make my timetable when it first became available and now I have all the worst class times.

22. No bitch, don't tell me I can't bring a coffee into the library, I need this.

23. Can I just miss the first week please I hate doing all the 'getting to know you' bullshit.

24. I don't see why they can't just record the lectures and put them online.

25. Readings are for chumps.

26. Wtf am I even going to do with this degree?


27. Paid internships are a thing, right? Right?

28. I will need at least two McMuffins to get through the day.

29. Mondays should be banned.

30. Real talk, how can they actually charge $85 for a textbook?

31. I will probably use it once, let's be honest.

32. Pretty sure there should be no such thing as a compulsory lecture.

33. I wonder if my tutorial teacher knows my drink bottle is actually filled with booze.

34. I mean, it's 6.30pm on a Wednesday night, what do they expect?

35. And drinking helps me answer these stupid questions in class.

36. Actually I am way smart when I'm tipsy.

37. I should do this more often.

38. Shit. That assignment's actually due tomorrow afternoon.

39. Shit, shit, shit.

40. Oh well, I'll do it in the morning.

41. HD coming my way.

42. Shouldn't have drank so much wine last night. Again.

43. Is three McDonald's meals a week verging on too many?

44. I should not have left this assignment to the last minute.

45. Whatever, P's get degrees.

46. Group work has to be the actual worst thing ever invented.

47. Morning classes are the wooooorst.

48. Night time classes are the wooooorst.

49. Class is just the woooorst.

50. I hate referencing.

51. Why can't I just use Wikipedia as a reference?

52. And also wtf is APA?

53. Fruity Lexia makes you sexier.

54. Should I buy another drink or a kebab? I can only afford one.

55. If I hear one more person telling me how enlightened they were after taking a gap year, I'm going to lose it.

56. OMG I need a Powerade.

57. I'm actually going to study this weekend.

58. Lol let's be real, no I won't.

59. *writes title*, ok I think I deserve a break.

60. Why is my handwriting so atrocious.

61. Will anyone notice if I make this look longer by using a bigger font?

62. All hail double spacing.

63. Ugh I need a shower.

64. Ok I'll study after I shower.

65. Oh, I have to eat before I can start studying.

66. Hang on, let me check my Facebook real quick.

67. Oh hey, its midnight, it's too late to study now anyway.

68. And I have so much TV to catch up on.

69. Does Mi Goreng count as a midnight snack?

70. My mother would be so appalled at my diet right about now.

71. Though she'd probably be more appalled if she knew I tried to skull some berocca after a night out then vommed it up on myself.

72. FML.

73. Can't wait to pay back all the HECs on this bloody useless degree.

74. The degree that probably won't ever get me a job.

75. At least I get to wear robes and take the perfect Harry Potter-esque photo though when I graduate.

76. I mean, if I graduate.

77. How do I reference again?