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16 Questions Hipster Bars Need To Answer

Why is everyone so good looking?

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1. Why is the lighting always so low?

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The romantic vibe is cool and all, but sometimes it's hard to read the menu.

2. Why does at least one bartender have a sailor-themed tattoo?

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Is that a prerequisite?

3. Do you hire people based on their ability to grow a decent beard?

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Grow some sweet facial hair or GTFO.

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4. Why are all your staff ridiculously good looking?

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Is that another prerequisite?

5. Why are all your cocktails so bloody expensive?

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Real pear juice, gin and the tears of your enemies.

6. And why are they served in a mason jar?

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Does it affect the taste? Really?

7. What's with the themed cocktail names?

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How do you settle on a theme?

8. And what's the inspiration behind some of the bar names?

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Really though, it's either literature or a nostalgic reference right?

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9. Why are your tables so tiny?

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I mean if you're going to serve food on wooden boards, the table may need to be a little bigger.

10. And why do the chairs / stools rarely have backs on them?

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It's just a little bad for the back tbh.

11. Why. The. Brioche?

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Please. Answer this one.

12. Why are you all wearing aprons?

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Do you really spill that much over yourself?

13. Alternatively, why are you all dressed in suspenders and bow-ties?

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Or is that why you wear aprons, so you don't spill stuff on your ~fancy~ clothes?

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14. Why all the American-based food choices?

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The idea of "double dawgs" isn't that original anymore.

15. Why the artistically-placed vintage typewriters and records?

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You realise we're all here to drink right?

16. And why all the hidden entries?

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You must cross the street, peep through the dusty window, knock three times and a trap door will open at your feet. The password is malteser.

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