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16 Questions Hipster Bars Need To Answer

Why is everyone so good looking?

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1. Why is the lighting always so low?

The romantic vibe is cool and all, but sometimes it's hard to read the menu.

2. Why does at least one bartender have a sailor-themed tattoo?

Is that a prerequisite?

3. Do you hire people based on their ability to grow a decent beard?

Grow some sweet facial hair or GTFO.

4. Why are all your staff ridiculously good looking?

Is that another prerequisite?


5. Why are all your cocktails so bloody expensive?

Real pear juice, gin and the tears of your enemies.

6. And why are they served in a mason jar?

Does it affect the taste? Really?

7. What's with the themed cocktail names?

How do you settle on a theme?

8. And what's the inspiration behind some of the bar names?

Really though, it's either literature or a nostalgic reference right?


9. Why are your tables so tiny?

I mean if you're going to serve food on wooden boards, the table may need to be a little bigger.

10. And why do the chairs / stools rarely have backs on them?

It's just a little bad for the back tbh.

11. Why. The. Brioche?

Please. Answer this one.

12. Why are you all wearing aprons?

Do you really spill that much over yourself?


13. Alternatively, why are you all dressed in suspenders and bow-ties?

Or is that why you wear aprons, so you don't spill stuff on your ~fancy~ clothes?

14. Why all the American-based food choices?

The idea of "double dawgs" isn't that original anymore.

15. Why the artistically-placed vintage typewriters and records?

You realise we're all here to drink right?

16. And why all the hidden entries?

You must cross the street, peep through the dusty window, knock three times and a trap door will open at your feet. The password is malteser.