1. Why do these girls insist on walking around aimlessly at night?!
2. SOMEONE JUST TRIED TO BLOW THEM UP.
3. Noel pushed someone down the stairs but honestly what relevance does this have to anything?
4. Getting déjà vu from Hanna being mad and Caleb trying to calm her down.
5. Hanna: “A, A.D., Uber A, whatever!”... Hanna is literally me watching this show.
6. OMG Noel Kahn ran over Caleb???
7. Oh, it was a dream. Lame.
8. Ooooh yeah that Haleb chemistry is giving me LIFE.
9. Can’t wait for Caleb and Hanna to hook up again tbh.
10. OMG Hanna he’s trying to help you why don’t you thank him instead of complaining about your new, free, untapped phone.
11. Does the 100% bug-free phone mean they no longer get texts from A.D. though? And let’s be real, if so why didn’t they do this earlier?!
12. Good on Emily for congratulating Aria for lying to her boyfriend. Nice work.
13. I feel so bad for Shay Mitchell having to say all these very badly-written lines.
14. “First off, you can’t root for Nicole not to be alive” - Emily with the savage truthbombs this season, she honestly gives no fucks anymore.
15. Oops, of course Ezra walks in at this point.
16. Hahah Emily, “I think I’m gonna leave”. Nice way to defuse the tension.
17. Aria’s like, “lol bye take me with you”.
18. I honestly would NOT want Ali educating my children.
19. She didn’t even finish high school.
20. Oh look. Sabrina’s back. Great.
21. Whatever happened with her and Emily's kiss? I think she just disappeared for two episodes?
22. Why are Emily and the school principal so surprised to see each other in such a tiny fucking town?
23. “Thank God It’s Danish Day” sounds so lame, but also is making me hungry.
24. Ahhh they’re looking for a swim coach, so Alison and Emily can WORK together too!
25. I’m watching you I. Marlene, I know what you’re trying to do.
26. Why did Sabrina question Emily taking the job? Like what else is she going to do, go back to California and bartend?
27. Get it together Sabrina.
28. Good old super sleuth Spencer is on the case finding old doctors.
29. Ali is literally the same age as the students at this school.
30. Just because she’s wearing a collared shirt, you can’t fool us.
31. OMG AN ARMY OF As!!!!!!!!!!!! Just like that flashmob which robbed the girls in NYC.
32. Oh no please don’t start setting up Emison again.
33. Poor old Emily is blaming herself for literally everything.
34. So weird how my eyes start closing whenever those two are in a scene together.
35. These girls can’t keep showing up at places and asking shady questions out of nowhere.
36. This doctor they’re looking for hasn’t been seen for years… I have a feeling he did something shady with Mary’s kid and then disappeared.
37. Of course his daughter works there now though, everyone in this town is so fucking connected.
38. Next minute, it'll turn out she's A.D.
39. “Wherever my father is, it’s where he belongs.” SO CRYPTIC.
40. Emily stop trying to fix everything and go make out with Sabrina.
41. Making out with Sabrina would be about as interesting as making out with your own hand though, let’s be real.
42. Ezra answers his phone like a real loser. “Yes, this is he.” (He also leaves voicemails though so I guess I’m not surprised.)
43. Like, I know Ezra is meant to be what, in his late twenties? But I always kinda consider him this weird, grandpa. Maybe it’s the cardigans.
44. OMG MRS GRUNWALD! WHAT YOU DOIN’ HERE, HOW DID YOU FIND HANNA?
45. Those eyes have her looking like Kanye at the Met Gala. Why is she so creepy?
46. “Goodness Hanna, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!”
47. Bitch kinda looks like a ghost though, let’s be real.
48. Last time she was hanging around talking about a darkness around Caleb we got Ravenswood and no one wants that again.
49. Lord, if this creepy bitch came in and told me there was a darkness around me and my ex, I’d be running outta there.
50. Oh man someone broke into the doctor’s office, I bet it was Noel Kahn.
51. Why tf is she now giving Spencer her dad’s address? If someone ransacked my office I wouldn’t be doing them any favors.
52. Also why is Spencer so chill about not clearing her name in this office ransacking?
53. For some reason, Hanna decided to take this creepy AF conversation to Radley, which literally makes ZERO sense.
54. I think we’re all too quick to forget what Radley used to be before it was a swanky hotel.
55. Hanna's looking around like she’s gonna see spirits lmao.
56. Wait, so has Hanna gone from believing Rollins kidnapped her, to Noel Kahn?
57. Did I miss that jump? Was I asleep?
58. Honestly if I had to deal with that Grunwald bitch being so cryptic all the time, I’d be shaking her like “JUST GIVE ME ANSWERS GODDAMN IT!”
59. Oh great, more hidden meanings in English lessons just like last season. And every one of Ezra’s classes.
60. Why is this kid being so savage to Ali?
61. And since when can you call a teacher to the principal’s office and just leave their class unattended? Can it wait 'til lunch?
62. Noel is the shadiest person EVER right now and I am loving it.
63. Why would Noel even walk over to Hanna and Mrs G though?!
64. OMG why is Grunwald’s nose bleeding what kind of Stranger Things nonsense is this?
65. Who is this creepy principal and how small must his school be to keep every student’s file in his office?
66. If he’s going to grill Alison, at least offer the girl a danish.
67. Lol these girls are class of 2012 why am I so old?
68. Hanna is so deadset on Noel being A.D. and honestly it makes sense… why do all the other girls not see it?
69. Except every time they think it’s someone, it clearly is never going to be that person.
70. If only Detective Toby were here to solve it all.
71. Hang on, wasn’t it only in Hanna’s dream that Ali told them about Noel pushing the girl down the stairs? Why is everyone else going along with it?
72. Also why has NO ONE mentioned that Ali shares her initials with their main suspect?
73. “Oh thanks Pam!” is going to be my new favourite insult from now on.
74. Why is this creepy old doctor so easily swayed with a cheap bottle of whiskey?
75. He and I have a lot in common.
76. I still can’t get over how forward these girls are.
77. “Curb the perve,” what an iconic line.
78. “Do you want me to tell this story or not??” lololol me every time I’m drunk tbh.
79. OK so Mary had two babies... Charlotte who was given to Jessica. And another kid.
80. I have a feeling that this second baby grew up to be Andrew Campbell aka that random blonde guy who kissed Aria and disappeared. Mark my words.
81. ALSO, he had a thing with Spencer remember? Weren’t they the ones playing strip study that time?
82. Old drunk Cochrane has a message for his daughter, and I have a message for the PLL writers. STOP. GIVING. US. WEIRD. MYSTERIES. WE. DON’T. CARE. ABOUT!
83. Idgaf about the Cochranes and their family drama, don’t drag this on any longer.
84. OH MY GOD, IT IS PAIGE WHAT THE HELL.
85. I feel like she would have told Emily that she was back in town.
86. OMG they’ve gone to get a drink at a place that isn’t Radley or The Brew???
87. Who knew Rosewood even had another place!
88. WAIT THEY WERE LIVING TOGETHER??? AFTER HIGH SCHOOL????? Why were we never told about this?
89. And Paige was gonna go to the Olympics???
90. What the fuck is this storyline.
91. Wasn’t Emily a better swimmer than Paige anyway?
92. I used to hate Paige BUT EMILY LOOKS SO HAPPY and now I want them to hook up. ANYONE BUT ALISON.
93. Speaking of Alison, back at it again with sneaking around late at night.
94. Surely schools should have more security. Especially after four girls were nearly killed at a dance here five years ago.
95. OMG A.D. pre-empted Ali’s sleuthing.
96. That Noel Kahn file was super easy to find from the get go, I don’t know why Alison was thumbing through everything slowly.
97. Grab it and ruuuuuun bitch.
98. Why is this janitor walking around without turning lights on? Shadyyyyy. (Literally. It’s very dark.)
99. Aria is being VERY grown up right now I’m proud of that tiny little lady.
100. Surprised Ezra hasn’t grown some stress stubble for this scene.
101. Hanna’s flashbacks are NUTS.
102. Oooh who is Hanna making sneaky deals with? Loving it.
103. Why is Caleb staying in a hotel room and where is he getting the cash for it? Also what happened to his hotshot job in NYC?
104. OMG GUYS KISS! Oh no it’s just a hug. DAMN. SO CLOSE.
105. RUN AFTER HER CALEB. RUUUUUUUN!
106. I know it sounds horrible but my poor Ezria heart really just hopes that Nicole is dead.
107. Also like, literally no one gives a fuck about Nicole.
108. That kiss goodbye that Ezra gave her was so so final, like it’s the last time he’ll see her.
109. Emily and Sabrina are still a thing? OMG look how jealous Paige looks this is not going to end well for Emily... but tbh it’s going to be great for me and my love of drama.
110. Why did Paige just happen to be lurking outside though? Hmmm...
111. How did Aria get such a fancy AF wedding dress at such short notice? #RichKidsOfRosewood.
112. It looks like she’s zipping it up because she’s given up on Ezra but honestly it’s just coz that’s what you do with dresses in garment bags.
113. Hanna is being so dodgy, it is GREAT.
114. And it’s enough to keep me watching next week.