1. That “previously” had too many references to Yvonne, and to Hanna’s dress for my liking.
2. Omg a crying baby. This HAS to do with Alison’s baby aka Emily’s baby inside Alison.
3. Soooo Ali went away to “deal” with “paperwork”. Sounds fake, but OK.
4. Why don’t they just throw the crying baby phone into the woods and then they never have to do deal with the board game mess again?
5. Oh, Alison hasn’t changed her name yet. I guess that explains why she’s writing “Mrs Rollins” on the chalkboard in that old flash-forward we still haven’t seen.
6. I have a question. How is A.D. keeping this phone on/charged? I mean, it’s just an iPhone, right? Can A.D. hook me up with this super-battery? It would eliminate a lot of stress from my life.
7. Wait, so WHY haven’t they told Caleb or anyone else about this game yet?
8. Have 👏 they👏 literally 👏 learnt 👏 nothing👏 after 👏 all 👏 this 👏 time.
9. I’m ready for Yvonne to wake up from this coma so she and Toby can leave forever.
10. Petition to replace Yvonne and Toby with the Wine Moms 2k17.
11. Spencer is sending out résumés like these girls have actual jobs and careers.
12. When did Caleb set up a Bond spy shop in his living room?
13. Aria is waaaaay too trusting of Ezra. She’s conveniently forgetting all the times he’s been shady and fucked her over in the past.
14. Has he just… not communicated anything with her this whole time while he’s been gone? Dump his ass.
15. The last time Ezra was actually interesting was when he stared at that can of chickpeas in a dark and mysterious way.
16. I love it when they randomly remember Emily and Toby are friends. Happens like, once every two seasons.
17. “I just wanna grab a couple more GPS trackers.” What a sentence. Only on PLL.
18. WTF IS THAT MANNEQUIN?! Tbh, it kinda looks like Alison more than Hanna.
19. Was the mannequin programmed to knock aggressively all by itself, or did A.D. just do the fastest runner of all time?
20. “This game is like Simon Says… but meaner,” has to be the understatement of the goddamn century.
21. OK A.D. obviously means the “appendix” inside the doll, hurry up and cut it open.
22. Fury has taken Spencer to play ping pong. Doesn’t he know what happened last time a member of Rosewood P.D. came in contact with ping pong balls? It was Lorenzo’s downfall.
23. UM, is Toby saying he and Yvonne should get married IN THE HOSPITAL?
24. Like Toby calm down and give the girl a chance to be fully conscious and all?
25. Lucas is so weird.
26. Also, no one on this show is this nice without wanting something or having an ulterior motive or a plan to murder someone.
27. This season really is the who’s who of all the old seasons of PLL. Sydney, Nicole, Holden, etc. I really don’t care about any of these characters.
28. It would be amazing if they brought back people who could give us answers like, idk, Mary Drake, Wren, Melissa… and yet, we get Sydney.
29. Caleb is just scanning the board game with a green light, what is that even going to do?
30. But also they really should have told him about it as soon as they got it, since he is a hacker genius and all.
31. OMFG Hanna has set up a full surgical theatre in the loft. She’s like a Grey’s intern gone wild.
32. This game is honestly NUTS and UNHINGED. A.D. should’ve just sold it in stores, made some sweet money from it, and moved on with their life.
33. This is the most complex version of “Game of Life” I’ve ever seen.
34. Of COURSE Spencer learned ping pong at HORSERIDING camp.
35. “We ponged hard” is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard on this show.
36. Is Fury actually allowed to talk with Spencer about an open investigation? This fucking police department.
37. I’m not sure why these two are acting like table tennis is an elite sport.
38. Well at least Aria has kept busy while Ezra’s been gone, learning how to hack shit.
39. Emily and Aria are being very self-sufficient, it’s a lot more exciting than waiting around for Spencer or Caleb to save the day.
40. Did Caleb just call Hanna’s hoo-ha a SPICY TUNA ROLL?
41. “Just write down the initials A.D…” – lmao me when someone tries to get me to sign anything.
42. The most annoying part of this whole scene is that Sydney spelled “It’s done” with a capital “D”.
43. Is it really that easy to intercept text messages though? Can someone teach me how? Asking for a friend.
44. But if Sydney is getting texts from an unknown number, is she also getting targeted by A.D.? Or just another random mysterious dude?
45. “Your hands are a lot bigger than when you were a kid.” Wow, Spencer, you’re meant to be the smart one.
46. I really, really, really don’t give a fuck about Fury’s backstory.
47. This dramatic cut of Toby getting married, then switching to Spencer making out with Fury is A LOT.
48. Like, where are Yvonne’s parents? Toby’s friends? Or even, you know, a priest or a witness?
49. I am here for badass Aria, tracking bitches, twisting their arm, getting shit done.
50. I was about to bag out these dumb bitches for letting Sydney go, but they snuck a GPS in her bag, so I’m back on Team A. Team Aria that is.
51. Oh god Hanna’s dress is an offensive mess. At least the storyline is about the fact that it’s an offensive mess.
52. Is Caleb holding a stethoscope up to that game board like it might have a goddamn human heart?!
53. Spencer and Caleb are VERY MATURE, if I walked into my house to find my ex I would back the fuck outta there ASAP.
54. I preferred the time when we forgot Spencer and Caleb even dated.
55. I love how she’s telling him about Fury like she didn’t actually kiss him when she was technically still with Caleb.
56. Hanna, Lucas can’t promise you you’ll always be friends if he’s A.D.
57. Yvonne’s going to die isn’t she? You don’t talk about planning the future so specifically without someone dying by the end of the conversation.
58. I know how these scenes work, I’ve watched every season of Grey’s Anatomy.
59. Oops there she goes. That lasted all of 90 seconds.
60. How convenient for Spencer to be there when Toby dramatically collapses in the hospital waiting room.
61. He could be upset, or he could have ingested too many drug-ridden gummy bears, it’s hard to know.
62. Leaving Lucas in charge of a meeting seems like a bad choice, Hanna. Remember when he tried to murder you in a row boat?
63. Hanna pointing out how Spencer got an unfair advantage in this game makes me feel like they’re definitely setting up for A.D. to be Spencer’s twin.
64. D STANDS FOR DRAKE, DUH.
65. I’d feel worse for Toby if I actually gave a shit about Yvonne, but she got like 10 minutes of development in this whole show and I really DGAF.
66. Her death served a purpose, at least: Toby and Spencer are finally embracing again.
67. Ezra Fitz is officially the shittiest fiancé in the world.
68. And we’re supposed to still ship Ezria after this?
69. Oh yeah, that’s really normal behaviour Nicole, sitting in the dark and then walking slowly towards someone without being like, “Hey Aria, it’s me Nicole.”
70. Hahahahahaha Aria pulling a knife on Nicole, a girl who was kidnapped for three years and probably has PTSD.
71. And like, where is Ezra anyway? Shopping for some more chickpeas?
72. I got really excited thinking we were seeing an old-school A.D. scene, but it turns out it’s just Fury wearing gloves and opening a package.
73. WHO THE FUCK’S FINGER IS THAT?????
74. Rollins? Jessica? Noel? Maya? Bethany? Wilden?
75. Well, there’s too many dead suspects on this show to guess, so we’ll have to wait til next week.