1.
pommy: mother may i have a sweetie australian: OI MUM GIVE US A FUCKIN CLANGER
2.
It's 2018 and I'm still lowkey angry about that time John Farnham had a tour called 'The Last Time' where he covere… https://t.co/KpXVUFmlFM
3.
if you think the Ghan is the best train trip in Australia then you've never caught the Sydney to Gosford train with… https://t.co/14Vz4MYY4t
4.
wild how in other countries at restaurants they ask if you want still or sparkling water, whereas in my country you… https://t.co/AaOqoQ5Ant
5.
one thing you don't see these days is people chucking around vortexes. kids, vortexes were like a ball with a tail… https://t.co/FjGTFTnW3F
6.
Ok so my grandmother is going on holiday on Friday, wants me to water her plants while she’s away & should never us… https://t.co/0JnpPUcZHt
7.
Cop: u get to make one call Me: ok but like where's my mobile this isn't 1997 i don't know any numbers except for lube mobile 13 30 32
8.
The two types of Australians: people who aren’t here to fuck spiders, and ol’ scratchy-dick Dave
9.
imagine being in prison around christmas and your relatives visit you just to get the gravy recipe
10.
Him: choke me Me:
11.
gday boys. turns out caleb bond is extremely fucken strong and doesnt appreciate online jokes or japes at his expe… https://t.co/AD87LOovNO
12.
13.
No you bloody idiots, look at its legs
14.
you can name any rural town in australia and say "they've got a bloody good pasty there" and no one will ever challenge you
15.
twitter: smash the state, obliterate the patriarchy, and vote on which is the best australian bird facebook: "[pers… https://t.co/fTvvrzBATq
16.
*uses last breath to grunt in Extremely Manly Voice* living is for GIRLS
17.
I turned on 2GB to see if they'd talk about milkshake duck and they're taking calls about how they can't identify D… https://t.co/Ruwzxkgz08
18.
Describe Australia in one sentence:
19.
fuck me i’d try
20.
Remember that in the Australian summer it's illegal to go into a bottleshop and not say to the bloke working there… https://t.co/8IebIUBokx
21.
me: CHUCK IT ON MY HECS person: this is oportos ma'am, we don't have hecs
22.
you: australians have no culture me:
23.
in australia we don't say "i love you" we say "fuck off cunt or ill smash ya" and i think it's truly beautiful
24.
Same
25.
Nothing on Twitter pleases me more than Americans who can’t fathom the concept of time difference “oh wow you’re le… https://t.co/KsEuLEoiqL
26.
anyone else grow up in a house where a streets viennetta was considered a super fancy desert only to be had on special occassions
27.
I never realised Johnson & Friends was a human sized set with a human sized person dressed in a human sized hot wat… https://t.co/XXh3TftcdB