1. Carry around a yoga mat. Andreas Rodriguez / Getty Images Yoga mats are hella light, and easy to carry. Plus, if you're carrying a yoga mat around, no one will judge you for buying three pints of ice cream. 2. Do everything in activewear! Hongqi Zhang / Getty Images It'll look like you love to run, even when the only run you've done in weeks is to Macca's. 3. Pair your cute activewear with a green smoothie. Deniza / Getty Images People will be blown away by how together you look, being so healthy on a Tuesday morning. REALITY: You're hungover AF and your "gym towel" is to mop up all the alcohol seeping out of your pores. 4. Decorate your work station with framed photos. Creatas / Getty Images So who cares if the photo is just the one that came with the frame. They're now your friends Berta and Bob and life is good. 5. Fill your house / office cubicle with motivational posters. Vanzyst / Getty Images You don't have to read them. You just need to look like a positive person who knows that by "working hard, you'll truly succeed and achieve your dreams." 6. Host "glam" dinner parties. Moodboard / Getty Images Order takeaway to arrive just before your guests do, then dump it in a wok and serve it up piping hot. Hello masterchef! Way to wow your guests! 7. Drink wine out of a real glass, not a plastic one. Sunemotion / Getty Images It's 10 times more sophisticated than a plastic cup... or a bottle. 8. Tell people you love to garden. Altrendo Images / Getty Images You don't ~ACTUALLY~ have to love gardening, just tell people you do! They'll think you're outdoorsy AND if you can care for things like plants or whatever, that definitely means you can care for yourself. 9. BONUS POINTS: Tell people you have a vegetable garden. Monkeybusinessimages / Getty Images "Eating things I've grown myself just makes me feel so much more lively!" You'll say, brushing Doritos crumbs off your shirt. 10. Keep a mug or recyclable coffee cup in view at the office. Fuzzbones0 / Getty Images People will think you're super environmental when really you're too forgetful to EVER remember to bring that shit to a café . 11. Take photos with other people's dogs. Dragonimages / Getty Images "Oh this? This is Frodo my childhood pet. Yeah he's just adorable!" 12. Have opinions about grocery stores. Jmlpyt / Getty Images "Oh I don't really shop there, I just prefer more organic options."You don't have to tell anyone that "organic options" means pizza delivery. 13. Wear glasses. Gpointstudio / Getty Images This is Craig, he doesn't need glasses but look how together he looks! No one would suspect he's using a stolen credit card to sign up to some crazy, freaky porn sites! Great work, Craig! 14. And wear a LOT of white. Jose Luis Pelaez Inc / Getty Images Monica has never heard the term "lasagne splatters" because she's too busy appearing like she has her life in order in her pristine, stain-free outfit. 15. Tell people you went on a "retreat". Bevangoldswain / Getty Images Don't tell them your "no talking retreat" was really just a weekend at home, marathoning old episodes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. 16. Brag about how much you love to bake. Elnariz / Getty Images YUCK don't actually do it, just get store bought cupcakes and mess the icing up a little. Rustic! 17. Always get photos in front of nice art. Dancomaniciu / Getty Images Put it on Instagram with a caption like, "some days all you need is a little inspiration from the masters." Da fuq does that even mean?! Who cares, people will think you're cultured AF. 18. Reference your "life coach". Studio Grand Ouest / Getty Images What the hell even is a life coach? Do they have a whistle? Who knows!?! But if you tell people you have one they'll think you're living your life to the absolute fullest. 19. And always act like Mary Poppins on crack Mike Powell / Getty Images Be the happiest person in the room. Be the happiest person in the whole damn country. NO REGRETS, LIFE IS GOOD, ASK NO FOLLOW-UP QUESTIONS.