Here's All The Thoughts We Had Watching The Second-Last Episode Of "Pretty Little Liars"
Oh god, I'm not emotionally ready for next week.
1. It's nice to have Tanner back and have her finally being a competent cop. Sucks for the girls though, I guess.
2. God, how do all those girls look good in their mug shots? Meanwhile I truly look like a murderer in my licence/passport photo.
3. Oh boy Aria is about to get caught with a dead dude in her trunk, how the hell is she gonna get out of this one?
4. Well. That was easy.
5. The girls are all jumping on the “Mona is A.D.” bandwagon pretty damn quickly.
6. Haven’t they learned that it’s never anyone they suspect?
7. And after all this time maybe she’s just helping their sorry asses.
8. Oh, Mary Drake back at it with the 17th century message delivery system.
9. Did Ezra just call A.D. “she”? Coz I’m pretty sure he just said “she can’t forgive”. Why so certain, Ezra?
10. So Toby’s phone went straight to voicemail, after banging “Spencer”. Interesting. Maybe Spencerietta is holding him hostage.
11. Aria talking to the dead body in her car sounds like me just shouting out random A.D. theories and expecting answers.
12. “You’re no help,” she says, to the corpse in her trunk. Wow, no surprises there.
13. “Time for pie. Be there.” Honestly the most persuasive note A.D. has ever sent.
14. Lol I forgot this is Hanna and Caleb's wedding night.
15. “I promise you a great honeymoon... in a conjugal visit trailer when you’re locked up in jail.”
16. Also isn’t it 4am? They’re doing all this after waiting out the board game "arrest timer" last episode. So why is Mona wandering around in the middle of the night?
17. And do these people ever sleep?
18. Omg Mary bought Spencer and Alison the CREEPY HOTEL?!
19. “I know what’s happening with the police, you’ll need money for lawyers." Um, real talk, these girls (and their on-and-off jobs) have seemed to go OK without money for the last few months/years... I’m sure they’ll be fine.
20. Also how does Mary know exactly what’s going on with the police?
21. Why are we all suddenly fine with Mary Drake again? Wasn’t she working with Archer and someone else to take down the girls?
22. Has Mary owned the motel this whole time, even back when it was A’s den? The Lost Woods Motel used to be such an integral part in this show.
23. Wait, was that a gas leak in Emily and Ali’s house?
24. Suddenly I don’t mind Ezria again, idk, idk I’m kinda back on board.
25. I love how Aria tells Ezra she has a body in the boot of the car and all of a sudden some WILD, FUNKY MUSIC starts playing. This show, honestly.
26. Again… it’s 4am. Why is this diner in the middle of the woods hoppin’?
27. And WHY didn’t Hanna and Caleb tell the rest of the girls that they’re fucking married?
28. I love that they’re both suss on each other. Mona literally thinks Caleb is A.D. right now, and vice versa.
29. Is… Mona ok?
30. “Somebody is always stealing the game from me.” A clue right there! What does it mean?!
31. “This is Rosewood not Area 51.” UM HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE LAST SEVEN SEASONS CALEB? Didn’t you move to a literal ghost town?
32. Omg good job random old guy, GET IN THE FUCKING WAY DURING A CHASE. Sit down and eat your goddamn pie.
33. Look at A.D. planning all these trap doors and exits in random buildings, such a busy and thoughtful villain.
34. “Hanna, you can’t go down here, it’s too dangerous! But Spencer, you’re fine.”
35. “I have a masters degree in American literature. There is nothing I can’t handle.” WOW OK I’VE HEARD SOME DUMB LINES ON THIS SHOW BUT THAT JUST ABOUT TAKES THE CAKE EZRA.
36. Especially because he delivered it like a superhero about to save the world.
37. I think that was the PLL writers trying to crack a joke, but honestly.
38. OMG IS THIS THE SCENE?! The one we’ve been waiting for?! The flash forward?!
39. So this whole goddamn sequence was a GODDAMN STUPID DREAM.
40. Fuckers, I should have known.
41. I guess I. Marlene changed the storyline and then they were like “oh shit what are we gonna do about that flash forward scene?”
42. Wait, so it was Emily’s dream and not Alison’s?! Not that it makes it any more interesting tbh.
43. Emily and Alison watching that video of Alison on loop – the scariest thing about this is the return of the yellow tank.
44. So was the “gas leak” or whatever just so Alison and Emily could pass out, Emily could have some stupid dream, and the game could appear back in front of them? COME OOOONNNN.
45. Why does being married mean that Caleb didn’t want Hanna in danger? Like, I’m sure he felt the same before marriage.
46. Wow, after all this time Caleb and Spencer still have zero chemistry, good to know.
47. But also I am so glad that they can be FINE as friends.
48. Alison apologising still feels so rare.
49. Um. I don’t think you can just back away from a police blockade.
50. I guess when you have a police force as incompetent as Rosewood’s, you just do whatever the fuck you want.
51. And also, once again, it’s FOUR AM. Why are there so many cars out, in ROSEWOOD.
52. Who the hell built all these underground tunnels, connecting all the key murder sites in the town?
53. Hanna: “Oh, good idea, I’m going to climb the scary bell tower where multiple people have died, while I’m all alone and my phone's not working.”
54. Oh god, what is happening, THIS IS SO WEIRD.
55. How did Mona have time to go through the tunnel, change into some old clothes, do her hair, and then end up in the bell tower, let’s be real.
56. Yes bitch give me a flashback, give me some ANSWERS.
57. PLEASE tell me that Charlotte and Mona hooked up back in the day.
58. Or even better, please tell me that Mona killed Charlotte.
59. So Charlotte never really “got better”.
60. Basically the doctors in this town are about as good as the police then.
61. Why would you antagonise someone, then stand next to a full-sized open window at the top of a tower? Charlotte is as dumb as the rest of them.
62. So Mona has… regressed back to her Radley state?
63. This is not the ending I want for my queen!
64. She’s meant to solve it all!
65. I REALLY hope Mona is fucking with us all, and putting this on as an act.
66. Because surely after the shitshow of the Charlotte is trans storyline, they can’t introduce a poorly-executed mental illness storyline.
67. Uh… isn’t the church right next to the police station? The police station filled with cops wanting to arrest them all, and they’re just having a stroll across the grass?!
68. These puzzle pieces almost look like they’re a drawing of a web. Like… Charlotte’s web?
69. Either that, or a creepy Bethany Young drawing, circa her Radley days.
70. Alison’s Aunt Carol? The fuck?
71. Oh wait was “Aunt Carol” the one with all the weird files and then the explosion went off in the house…? Or was that Jessica’s other house?
72. Oh god, I don’t know anymore.
73. “If we want to stop the crazy we need to stop acting crazy,” says Aria, who 30 minutes ago was talking to a dead body in her trunk.
74. Oh, of course. Going to Charles’ “grave” was a trap all along.
75. Hmmm Rosewood P.D. back at it again, leaving five suspects in the same room together. SMART.
76. “Make yourselves comfortable.” Ahhh wait, they aren’t suspects anymore…?
77. I wonder if Mary Drake left her statement for Tanner in a wine bottle.
78. Who was Mary’s accomplice? It must be Wren, right? Or Melissa. Or Jenna or Sidney I guess. Idk. Too many options.
79. Ummm I love that the girls were literally there with SHOVELS, and they’re still set free. Like they were going to dig up evidence. And probably move it. At least question them.
80. “I’m convinced Mary Drake is guilty of one homicide.” – Tanner knows what’s up.
81. “A box of loose ends with theories that might be true” is the most accurate description of this show that I’ve ever ever heard.
82. Tanner just said: “You’re not criminals”? Well bitch let me pull out the list of all the crimes these mofos have committed.
83. Alsoooo I don’t think that this is the end we’ve seen of Mary Drake. Something tells me that she’s going to come back into play next episode.
84. Mona talking about ~ killing ~ Charlotte. “I’m sorry I messed that up...” OMG WHAT.
85. Waiiiiiit. Mona didn’t push Charlotte? If Charlotte survived this whole time, oh man I will be pissed.
86. No wait, what? Charlotte did die? This is too much excitement for one episode, especially since we’ve been hit with so many filler episodes lately.
87. Also can I point out that Mona isn’t wearing gloves, she needs to stop touching those flowers! God, they all stress me out.
88. Uhhhh, they’re getting Doctor Sullivan to come help Mona? Didn’t Doctor Sullivan once fuck them all up because A told her to?
89. “A.D. doesn’t have any leverage anymore” – mmm sounds fake, but OK.
90. Wow that’s the quickest sunrise I’ve ever seen. It went from pitch black to full daylight in 0.5 seconds.
91. Is it just me or did “Spencer” just give one last, longing look towards the “dead” game?
92. This all seems too fake happy and resolved I DO NOT BUY IT.
93. LMAO AT THIS DRAMATIC SONG PLAYING OVER THE DEAD GAME WTF.
94. I wish they played the Mariah Carey version of “Without You” instead, what a jam.
95. Honestly, playing this emotional song over the death of the game, while driving into the sunrise has actually KILLED ME.
96. Imagine if that was the actual finale. No pressure PLL writers’ and I.Marlene King, you guys better PULL THROUGH next week.