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Just 23 Fucking Funny Tweets About Melbourne

Oh Melbourne, never change.

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1.

It's official. The Melbourne wanker food war is over. We have a winner. Go home Popcorn on Avocado, you're drunk.

2.

My Richmond barber just used a cigarette lighter to singe my ear hairs. Could not have been more hipster, or more Melbourne.

3.

Melbourne person: let's meet at an outer fitzroy rooftop bar that is logistically difficult for all of us and pay $18 for a gin

4.

Just paid $6 for some Pringles melb CBD sure makes it expensive to be a fat cunt

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5.

6.

is that george costanza bar in melbourne down an elaineway

7.

SYDNEY vs MELBOURNE - which is better??? We asked four rats and a retired moth

8.

The new hipster coffee in Melbourne... And only hours ago I said I thought I'd seen everything... For. F*ck's. Sake.

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9.

I have turned into the biggest Melbourne wanker. I've been living off of coffee and my own home-made hummus. I am at peace with it all.

10.

Trying to get to Melbourne Central after 5pm is like trying to get to fucking Mordor.

11.

A pigeon just fucking deliberately tapped me on the shoe like just a cheeky fucking gday not bloody on pal South Melbourne is my hell

12.

me when its raining: fuck melbourne ur so cold i fucking hate you me when its sunny: melbourne is so beautiful i love this city so much

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13.

14.

Taken 10 minutes and a few blocks apart. Typical #Melbourne weather. https://t.co/X4sEkMp1D5

15.

Melbourne is a labyrinth of hipster cafés designed to defer the walk to work for as long as possible.

16.

There's a hipster cafe in Melbourne advertising a designer halal snack pack, that includes beer battered chips.

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17.

I seriously just got head butted by this goat. Downtown in Melbourne. Is this a good or bad omen?

18.

Last night in Melbourne I saw a grown man walking his pet ram. This is officially the tipping point of hipsterism. #hipster #Melbourne #wank

19.

A guy at work is eating a "deconstructed salad" or what I would call "raw vegetables" in normal person speak #hipster #Melbourne

20.

Vodka with your breakfast juice, anyone? #onlyinmelbourne

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21.

Sushi burgers. Yes, it's a thing #onlyinmelbourne

22.

I think I've finally cracked #Melbourne hipster fashion. Basically you just dress like you're a crazy homeless person from the 90s.

23.

Asked a hairy-faced shop attendant for the best place to get coffee: "hot or cold coffee?" #onlyinmelbourne