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23 Things You'll Understand If You're Just Not Interested In Babies

Hi, can you please take your crying child back?

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1. So this is a safe space. It's ok to be honest. Babies kind of terrify you and sometimes... look, sometimes you just don't even like them.

2. You can totally understand that they're cute. Adorable even. When they smile, you probably melt.

3. But also, what do you want from me tiny human?!

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4. Let's be real: Babies are just damn scary.

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5. They're scary when they cry.


6. It's scary to pick them up.

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7. Because when you pick a teeny baby up, you're terrified you'll somehow break it.

What if their tiny arms break when I try to pick them up??
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What if their tiny arms break when I try to pick them up??

8. Your biggest fear in that moment is 100% dropping that poor, helpless human.

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9. And having them look at you with hatred in their eyes for the rest of THEIR DAMN LIFE.

10. When you're left alone with one and it starts crying, there's honestly no worse feeling in the world.


11. And as much as you say, "there, there, mum and dad will be back real soon!" they don't understand you, because they're goddamn babies.


12. Also they really require A LOT of attention and energy.

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13. And that in itself is petrifying.


14. Mainly because some days you feel like you can't even take care of yourself.

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15. Then, I mean... let's be real, having someone else's baby vomit or shit on you isn't exactly PLEASANT.

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16. And you have to pretend it's FINE, and that's what babies DO, but like, it's really inconvenient.

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17. "No, no, it's ok!" you say through gritted teeth as you try and dab vomit out of your newly washed hair.


18. Also, you kinda struggle with the whole "baby talk" or how to talk to tiny children in general.

19. You're the first to admit their parents are super-humans. But seeing them is a reminder that you're probably just not ready yet.

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20. As much as you admire your friends, siblings, and acquaintances doing their thing and raising their tiny spawn...


21.'re definitely relieved it's them and not you.


22. One day you'll probably be ready to start your own family.

You know, if that's what you want. Maybe you don't want kids, and that is also perfectly fine.

23. But until then, there's no better feeling than passing a wailing child back to their parents and knowing it's not your problem anymore.