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Here's What You Missed On Episode 13 "The Bachelor" Australia

I never want to go camping again.

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The Group Date:

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SHOCK! HORROR! There was no solo date this episode. So here's what happened.

Rachael called shotgun in Richie’s "special transport", which ended up being some sort of car that was meant to be exciting but I’m not sure why. All the other girls were pissed. “Camping, woo!” Richie called out, extending his vocabulary and managing to refrain from saying "fantastic!"

Rachael and Richie went to get some firewood, with Richie commenting, “If it’s made of wood Rachael, grab it!” Obviously Richie wasn't talking about the actual firewood. Haha get it? Ahhh help me.

Richie proved how manly he was, striking a match to light a fire. He then took Alex off for a romantic chat, leaning on the car, and remarking on how great it was that she didn’t “change” in front of the other girls. I assume this means the other girls also know she’s a mother. Did you guys know Alex is a mother?!

Moving on, the whole group then played a game of "Never Have I Ever". Nikki played the superior game, taking the moment to say “Never have I ever stolen Richie away for a chat” and promptly took Richie away for a romantic chat, where she said something about feeling safe in his arms, and I felt like vomiting in my mouth a little.

The next morning, Olena gave it to Richie straight, saying she had a “bleeping” rough night. Olena continued making the most sense out of everyone, being a little confused as to why all the other girls were speaking so "passionately" about Richie, clearly not okay with the whole ~raw openness~ of their feelings. I mean, same.

Richie split the girls into two groups, taking Faith, Rachael, and Nikki on a kayaking adventure. They had to compete in some weird kayaking soccer game that I didn’t fully understand, with Faith and Rachael vs. Nikki and Richie. Richie eventually stole Faith away for a chat and it got a liiiittle awkward, possibly alluding to Faith being sent home?

Alex, Olena, and Richie sat in little karts and raced down a hill. “I have so much patience when it comes to Olena,” Richie said after Olena could barely make it down the hill. “She’s got so much going for her.” Like beautiful eyes, and a beautiful smile, and beautiful everything else.

Finally the camping trip ended. Honestly, it was the closest to camping I've ever been, and I'm not sure if I'll ever go again.

The Rose Ceremony:

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PLOT TWIST! There was ALSO no cocktail party! This is not what I signed up for! Anyway, Nikki's monologue said something about Richie being "just as important as her family", which is slightly worrying considering she's probably really known him for two whole dates.

Gotta Have Faith left, and my faith also departed because she was a beautiful, shining light who I will forever miss. (Well for the next week anyway).

Can't wait for Richie to meet Rachael's brunette family tomorrow with a bottle of peroxide in his hands.