Well, we asked for it, and Bachelor In Paradise is delivering! Welcome to a week of four episodes in a ROW.
After Flo cycloned in and out of our lives, new drama had to be added: Welcome to the American invasion episode!
While we wait for the yanks to "storm the beach", Lenora tells us she isn't sure if Blake is what she's looking for. I have no idea why she thinks that.
Jarrod is still pissed off that Mack gave his rose to Ali. So naturally, the solution is that Jarrod thinks he should take a step back and pursue Keira instead, because every woman loves to be a second choice for someone!
Finally, intruder number one enters. Finally! FINALLY. Finally.
Grant is a firefighter who actually got engaged on a season of Bachelor In Paradise. He's also a firefighter.
The girls are thrilled to see Grant – which is fair, given the dire choices they've been given so far.
Keira's really impressed with Grant's qualities, like the fact he's really cute and has "nice eyes".
Leah swoops in to get to know Grant, and he invites her on a date.
Mack and Michael are still obsessing over Ali, and poor Ali hasn't had any alone time since arriving in Fiji.
Jarrod is still desperately trying to reassure us it's actually Keira he is into, because Mack "stole Ali" from him. Jarrod doesn't sound crazy or jealous at all! He just sounds super into Keira! It's touching how into Keira he is, and adorable how he obsessively brings up Ali's name whenever he's talking about how into Keira he is!
Meanwhile, Grant and Leah have gone snorkelling. "Snorkelling gives you the opportunity to hold hands with someone," Leah says.
Grant and Leah get their mack on, and smooth-talking Grant says it's the best date he's ever been on.
Meanwhile, Mack is starting to crumble under the pressure of the love triangle of Ali, Michael, and himself.
A new intruder struts in, carrying the weight of his ego on his massive biceps.
The boys are still struggling with the fact two new men have come in. And then we hear it. The best quote of tonight's episode. Drum roll please...
"I'm all for competition, but you shouldn't come across like a dick," Blake says.
HAHAHAHAHHAZHAHHAHAHASHHAHFHAHHHGhahAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHa, I deadset can't breathe.
Meanwhile intruder Daniel asks Keira if she's a "bad girl", while daintly sipping from his frozen margarita.
Quick rundown of what's happening elsewhere: Jarrod is jealous that Keira spent some alone time with Daniel, Jake and Megan mack on down on the beach somewhere, Lenora is looking for a more stimulating match than Blake, my Uber Eats order still hasn't arrived.
Daniel asks Nina on a date and is stoked that it's made Eden truly uncomfortable.
Ali is reaching breaking point and decides it's time to make a decision.
Daniel and Nina are getting to know each other in the hot tub and he says something to the effect of: "I'm a bad boy, I'm naughty."
Lenora decides to dump Blake.
Uncle Sam gets a date card and takes Tara.
To end the night... (trust me, we're nearly at the end, I'm so sorry. I can't believe it's midnight already)... Mack and Jarrod get into a fight.
Tomorrow night: Grant and Ali get to know each other, Leah is not happy, Nina and Jarrod both cry (for different reasons I assume), and I've decided to start telling people I'm also an acquired taste.
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