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23 Of The Weirdest Things Customers Have Said To Retail Workers

"You look like my dead wife."

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Recently we asked members of BuzzFeed Community the weirdest thing a customer has ever said to them. Here are the hilarious, horrifying and most WTF answers.

2. I work at Subway, and a man came in who was off his face. When I asked him what cheese he would like, he replied "Give me the cheese that will make me glow in the dark".

Submitted by Daniella Banach, Facebook

3. Had a customer order an ice cream cone. Yep, sure. They requested a small one. Not unreasonable, fairly common with people who have small children. Anyway, I get this guy his ice cream cone, hand it to him, and he asks "Do you believe in unicorns?"

I was a bit taken aback, so I just nodded. He looked me dead in the eye, said "Me too, and I'm about to show you one", stuck the ice cream cone to his head, said "Neigh" and pranced off.

Submitted by WanderingDashite

4. I worked at Subway in high school and one morning at 10:30, this man walked into the store clearly high. He looked at me straight in the eyes and said "I want a six inch velociraptor teriyaki." I asked if he meant chicken, and he responded with "No, I want velociraptor. I want it straight from Jurassic Park." Best customer ever.

Submitted by Virginie Arsenault, Facebook

6. I just started working at McDonald's. On my second day, a woman pulled up to the drive thru, ordered her food... and asked me for a sausage sticker. I said, "Excuse me?" She said, "You know, a sausage sticker. A sticker with a sausage on it." I said, "That doesn't make any sense." She became somewhat belligerent and said, "A sticker with a picture of a sausage on it? You know, a SAUSAGE?" Like I didn't know what a goddamned sausage was. I said I'll check with my manager, and as I was going to find her, I heard this lady's voice enticingly whisper into my headset, "I'll pay you for it. If that's what it takes, I'll pay you for it".

In the end, she got the sticker, leaving me with a headache and no money.

Welcome to McDonald's.

Submitted by Leeda Minkin, Facebook

7. I work at a fast food place and a customer once asked me to put sour cream in her coffee and got upset when I asked her to confirm that that's what she wanted.

Submitted by susankandoit

8. "Hey, can I buy you a drink some time? Beer?" - 10-year-old kid at the waterpark I was lifeguarding at.

Submitted by Alyssa Cass, Facebook

10. I used to work at an optometrist "I want glasses that make me look like a serial killer porn star."

Submitted by Lisa Dodds, Facebook

11. After making a lady's cappuccino she decided to ask me if I've ever tried a moon cup. A cup you insert into your vagina to collect the period instead of using regular tampons or pads. She told me about moon cups for five minutes while her two young boys were telling her to stop talking to everyone about moon cups.

Submitted by rachaelp436e542ed

12. Me: "Hi."

70-year-old customer dude: "I wish I was."

Submitted by Rachel Harding, Facebook

14. I work in a coffee shop and a girl comes and goes "Hi, I'll have a coffee, just gotta go to the banks to get some banks." She handed me $5 and she started walking out. I asked what coffee she wanted before she left and she replied "The name's Jen" and left.

She really needed a coffee.

Submitted by Caitlyn Vercoe, Facebook

15. I was on the phone taking an order, and the guy just randomly goes, "Whoa, look at those biceps!" Turns out he was watching 300.

Submitted by Jordan Nicole Beery, Facebook

16. I work in a greenhouse on the outskirts of a wealthier town, so we get quite a mix of people. One morning when loading up a ladies car with flowers, she whipped out a legit SCROLL from her glove compartment and I stood there for twenty five minutes while she read to me the entire story of the Israelites.

Submitted by Rachel Davis, Facebook

18. I was once told by a customer that my hair looked like a croissant (it was in a bun) and they proceeded to fake bite towards my head.

Submitted by Laura Pownall, submitted by Facebook

19. I work at a frozen yogurt shop. A woman came in and asked if I had two different coloured spoons so she could remember which side was hers and which side was her dogs.

Submitted by audreya4ce4f660f

20. I used to work at a fast food restaurant in high school. One day I was taking an order in the drive thru and they seemed completely normal. When she pulled up to the window, she had a chicken puppet on her hand and when I told her the total she yelled "LOOK THE CHICKEN IN HER EYES, NOT ME!"

Submitted by ciarahshyan2

22. I used to work for a well known make-up brand. One day a women came up to me and told me I had lovely big eyes. She then proceeded to start pulling on both of my eyelids, dragging them downwards telling me "You'll hate them when you're older. I used to have lovely big eyes but now my eyelids droop. Gravity and age. Horrible. Poor girl." She then walked away as if nothing had happened.

Submitted by claremunster83

23. Me: "How's your weekend going?"

Customer: "Great, having a welcome home party tonight."

Me: "Oh lovely! You do look tanned. Where have you been?"

Customer: "Prison."

Submitted by hannahb42bf64c64

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