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Updated on 27 Apr 2019. Posted on 20 Apr 2018

25 Tweets To Laugh At When You're On The Commute Home

I can't make any promises though.

1.

You ever sit quietly and your brain goes "shakira shakira"

2.

“Like that but cat” crying 😂

3.

trying to forget the moment this afternoon when my barber asked “are you having fun?” and I said “yes” but he was talking to his daughter who was filling in a coloring book https://t.co/4zDGQfySID

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my three frail, sickly sons: father please... share your food... please... we are starving... father... me: ᴄʀᴏɴᴄʜ ᴄʀᴏɴᴄʜ ᴄʀᴏɴᴄʜ https://t.co/PeDAR3c3ND

6.

Thought somebody was honestly chasing me home with a flute I was so scared and then I realized it was the wind blowing through the holes of my crutches ahahahahahhahahaha ahahhaahahah ahahhahaah shat it

7.

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So happy all our exes can now holiday together

9.

me when someone says hi and i say good how are you

10.

That face when you just wanted a faster way to rank girls by looks and ended up installing a fascist government in the most powerful country on earth https://t.co/VEaQjz9Z6s

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Thank you @UrbanOutfitters it’s exactly like I imagined x

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ME: lololol can't believe my parents don't understand how to attach a document to an email lolol ALSO ME: what is taxes help i am so confused and also the only thing I can cook is popcorn

15.

every white dude after sex: i usually last longer but it’s been awhile. anyway here’s a hole i punched in my wall while i was mad at my mom

16.

BOSS: Your feminist agenda is starting to disrupt meetings ME: *tucks tampon behind ear like a pen* How

17.

nearly crashing my car as i lurch my whole body out the window screaming 'BIG MOOD' at a dead possum

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19.

When you faked flirted with him and now he’s telling you to come over

20.

21.

My password is not weak, its beautiful inner strength and resolve is just not immediately apparent.

22.

found my high school nemesis on instagram and guess who’s laughing now? neither of us, we both seem equally miserable and concerned for the country

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25.

She's gone too far, you can buy carpet everywhere

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