1. Here we go.
2. It's always so BRIGHT in here.
3. It makes me feel weirdly sleepy.
4. And also hurts my eyes a little.
5. OK focus, we're here to shop for Christmas goodies.
6. And maybe for myself. A little bit.
7. Wow Kmart's swimwear is super cheap.
8. FOCUS, FOCUS!
9. HOLY HELL, that Christmas tree is $79. AND IT'S SOLD OUT?! WHAT KMART?
10. Oh wait, there's a $13 one, now we're talking.
11. Even though it's rather sad to look at it.
12. Kinda like me rn.
13. OH MY GOD REINDEER UGG BOOTS?!
14. No wait, false alarm, it's somewhere to store your presents.
15. I suck at Christmas.
16. Why am I here?!
17. I need a break from this Christmas shopping to go try on this super cheap swimsuit, JUST REALLY QUICK OK.
18. "Hello Kmart can I take this swimsuit and this weird reindeer thing I'm holding into the change-room, nothing suss I swear."
19. Just casually lining up with my swimsuit and weird reindeer thing for an hour watching the change-room line slowly crawl, this is cool, I'm cool.
20. TFW you get stuck in the toy aisle but actually have no children in your life to buy any toys for and there's a screaming child next to you, and you're like "should I buy this toy for you? WILL THAT MAKE YOU BE QUIET?!"
21. Moving on...
22. Except I can't bloody move anywhere because this store is so freakin' busy.
23. HOLY SHIT a blow up pool!!
24. This is perfect for my house.
25. THIS I NEED.
26. I will use it once, but it will be a great day.
27. Or I'll use it to store alcoholic beverages in at a party, either one.
28. OK, back to Christmas shopping.
29. That's if I can even find what I'm looking for in this hot mess of a store.
30. There's a literal line up for the trees, fuck this. TOO. MANY. PEOPLE.
31. I'm just going to buy one of those tiny ones instead and put it on my desk.
32. Do they sell tiny tinsel too?
33. OMG, you can buy a light-up penguin.
34. WHY????
35. Merry Christmas, here is my light-up penguin.
36. But it's only $29…
37. Bargain really.
38. Everyone needs a light-up penguin imo.
39. I'm going to call him P-Diddy.
40. The best thing about Kmart is how one minute you're in the kids section and the next, you're thinking about buying $5 cosmo beakers.
41. They're a thing. And yes, only $5.
42. Definitely need them for Christmas.
43. Definitely need this pizza maker for Christmas.
44. And definitely need this snow-cone machine for Christmas.
45. HELLO, definitely need these $5 recipe books for Christmas.
46. "Cheap student meals." Same.
47. I've never thought about how much I've needed a vegetable steamer in my life until I came to Kmart.
48. Also a "healthy deep-fryer".
49. I'm not so sure deep-fried can be "healthy".
50. But also, Kmart wouldn't lie to me, so I'm gonna fry the shit out of some potatoes.
51. Or I can just go to the Macca's right outside this store after I exert all my shopping energy.
52. I'm going to buy about 10 of these $1 candles and numerous motivational posters and my house is going to be so Feng Shui.
53. Going to live my best life.
54. I may not shop anywhere else ever again.
55. KMART IS SELLING A NANDO'S "MAN BEER BAG".
56. It's perfect for the manly man in your life.
57. The manly man who likes to drink manly beers in a manly, masculine way.
58. Unfortunately I can't buy the man beer-bag though, because I'm a soft-spoken, flowery female who can't drink in a manly way, I'm only capable of sipping wine delicately and thinking about cheese boards.
59. Kmart has some really cheap cheeseboard sets though, just putting it out there.
60. TFW you go into Kmart to buy a couple of things and come out with a trolley full of stuff you may or may not ever use.
61. Worth every dollar though.
62. Aaaand... I still need to do my Christmas shopping.