Project Runaway Toddler
Moms get enough sleep already, right?
And no, we didn't pay them to like it.
Why are period symptoms the same as pregnancy symptoms? WHY?
Things to think about at the top of the roller coaster...
Everything you want to know but are too embarrassed to ask.
Tip #1 - Don't listen to Third Eye Blind if you don't like Third Eye Blind
Anyone else craving ranch dressing?
No foreplay is like sliding down a dry Slip-n-Slide.
Calling you out, wine snobs. We all know it tastes the same.
Parents don't have to be perfect.
"Your. Vagina. Goes. Back. To. Normal."
We need pacifiers for adults.
Pulling a tampon from your purse sounds like Christmas morning.
"Pee in the sink!"
Take me off this group text!
Kids, man, they'll change ya.
"Was your pregnancy unplanned?"
Snickerdoodles + Cheesecake = OMG
Did she survive?
Forget the winged eyeliner. There's no time.
"Joe sucks. Steve rules."
"Sleep when the baby sleeps." Yeah right.
Damn you, Neil Patrick Harris!
They discover the best wines to pair with your kids' crappy behavior.
"The thirst is real..."
"You're basically a live vagina exhibit..."
"Life is way too short to spend another second hating your body."
Use the same tactics as the FBI.
"We're all on this crap rocket ride of parenthood. Let's be nice to each other."
Are you even old enough to drive?
Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful?