Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
Count to 10 or 20 and take deeeeeep breaths.
What score did you get? Take the IPIP-NEO Test, created by Dr. John A. Johnson, here: http://www.personal.psu.edu/j5j/IPIP/ipipneo120.htm
You are your own worst enemy.
HER FACE IS TOO MUCH. (H/T Laughing Squid)
"I have successfully self-diagnosed myself and have come to the conclusion that I'm perfectly fine."
Cellphone = life.
Molly is permanently concerned even without all the student debt you have!
Oh god, was there something I was supposed to do today?
“I mean, do you wanna be known as a guy who, like, sleeps with a lot of girls?”
"You're so dick-whipped..."
Let your hair fly free.
I locked the door. Wait... did I lock the door?
This is all stuff that will not matter in a month.
Someone help him before he thinks too much.