"I'm not changing my bland-ass last name to his bland-ass last name when I just renewed my passport."
The second wife of former South African president Nelson Mandela died on Monday, according to her personal assistant, leaving behind an anti-apartheid legacy marred by scandal.
Actually, you can probably try these on anyone, but good luck!
They like it so they're gonna put a ring on it.
"I'm a cool mom."
At least they tried?
For one thing, sexts are way, WAY different.
"My parents are wine drunk watching Jeopardy and my dad just looked at my mom and said 'you're my best friend' and that's all I want in life."
“Marriage is an ongoing tennis match between ‘I love you so much’ and ‘nobody would find your body; my plan is well thought out.”
"Until death do us part, or until I murder you for being an idiot." —My wedding vows, probably.
#19 Fighting over how to squeeze the tube of toothpaste.
The one where lube is needed.
I know you want to know.
A heated seat cover, a crystal-growing kit, an set of vegan bath bombs, and eighteen other products on Amazon that will solve all your last-minute gifting problems.
Yeah, I *totally* I spent a lot on you this year!
Order by 11:59 pm CST on 12/20 to get free delivery by 12/23!
Give them a whole new world at their fingertips.
The early bird gets the worm, but the late shopper gets great gifts.
*closes eyes and points at the internet*
They'll have no idea you left them off your first list.
As my partner and I await our new baby, I'm terrified that the queer pursuit of pleasure is about to disappear from my life — and I don’t know how to be myself without it.
Because their gift should be as amazing as their LOVE.
It's the season of giving (orgasms)!
Practical gifts they’ll be eternally grateful for.
I'll buy you an island one day. I swear!
'Tis the season to have a lot of fun.
Cat butt magnets, wine condoms, a waterproof speaker, and eighteen other surprising and delightful gifts you can get on Amazon.
Two gifts for the price of one, because you deserve a little something too!
Guys, love is real.
Find something for your brother, sister, daughter, son, mom, dad, or first cousin twice removed.
YOU'RE IN LOVE AND YOU DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!
If you're at your wits end, hopefully these will help.
Things that'll show you care, so you don't have to.
You're basically speaking your own language by this point.
You won't want to give these ~the boot~!!
Everything's under $30 (but no one will be able to tell).
Who says you can't buy happiness? Not Nordstrom.
If you like it then you should buy a ring from it.
Sign of a healthy relationship: farting.
*Dies alone* while reading this.
"My boyfriend used my nipple clamps to save the Hot Cheetos he got me."
Louise Linton eventually apologized for her outburst.
The Manzanares family were on a seven-day cruise around Alaska when the death occurred.
No one's raining on your love parade. The products in this post were updated in October 2017.
So simple ;)
*flicks holy water*
"I don't want that man to die," Robby Miller, the son of Robert Godwin Sr., said of his father's killer. "I want him to be brought to justice."
Cancun or Napa?
The Try Guys test their friendship as they probe deep into each others' personal lives.