"Half of shooting here is just waiting for sirens."
Is the glass half full or is it COMPLETELY FILTHY?
*Googles "how to get a six-pack in a week"*
How the hell do you make friends?
A lady in the street but a garbage person at home
A basketball-playing golden retriever? That's ruff.
Real talk just got too real.
Naked freedom or cozy clothes?
Which one are you?
Why didn't she say hi?!
Or just lock myself in my room for a thousand years?
Is she on a date?
Or just an upset stomach...
Get down with your bad self.
"The flux capacitor is all messed up..."
Like, a hat, for instance.
It's your what??
"What do you mean you don't have a savings account?"
Caught in a cat suit.
"Don't touch your face..."
One is the loneliest number.
“I don’t give a sh*t about how much you weigh…"
Do you snooze your alarm or get out of bed?
TURN UP THE HEAT!
"You are always late!"
Why you cry, Terry?
Why are you yelling in your car? Nobody can hear you.
Don't mind me, my mind will be miles away...
What is this "401(k)" you speak of?
Finally, all will be made clear.
Maintain eye contact!
Am I more Carrie or Charlotte?
“You gotta be real to make high art”
"What is this? Sour cream for ants?"
“Why do you watch this on a tiny screen?”
Sometimes being scary isn't so bad.
"They really shouldn't have given me stuffed animals."
"Can you put the gluten back in the cookie?"
"I'm currently in full b*tch mode now."
When in doubt, use emojis.
But is he nice to his mom?
Couples co-opt all the fun activities!
"Now you can sleep with whoever you want!"
It's all a buncha baloney.
Because you can't continue on in this awkward, sexual limbo.
Flailing is in, right?