"Previously in Desperate Housewives."
He's making a wish, he's checking it twice, gonna find out who's...
Pro tip: anything's a tree if you want it to be.
What's better than Disney and Christmas?
*Insert sentimental Christmas quote*
Oh, Christmas tree, oh, Christmas tree.
Because putting on a pajama top *and* bottom is frankly too much work.
Because you deserve something special every dang day.
10 points for Gryffindor!
Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?
Deck those halls.
Ben Ortiz grew an orange tree from an orange he was eating years ago.
Unless you pick the one grumpy bird. He'll curse you the f*** out.
This is important information.
Can you go 8 for 8?
Do I play...basketball? WHAT'S BASKETBALL?
Or, as Ariel would call them, thingamabobs.
This time, it won't look like your tree has dandruff.
Yule never guess.
Can you go 10 for 10?
Does hiding behind furniture really work like it does in the movies?
And one of them blacked out from it.
“This is like a gourmet Pop-Tart.”
"You're gonna give us penis candy canes."
Ugh Santa, you're the best.
Siri, how do you get drunk the fastest?
“I happen to have a particular fondness for Marzipan.”
For the people you don't really wanna wish Merry Christmas...
“It’s Die Hard! Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie.”
The less effort, the better.
Because the best things come in small packages.
“It’s not as minty as I’m accustomed to.”
“What even is mincemeat, and why would we want to put it in a pie?”
He's making a list of chicken and rice.
Have yourself a meowy little Christmas.
~Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree~
Accio Christmas spirit!
Fifty shades of purple.
Just too damn cute.
This is a frangipani-free zone.
What the hell is going on?
Two kids were in critical condition after getting caught under the 70-foot pine tree at a park in Pasadena Tuesday afternoon, officials said.
Oh Minecraft, I thought it was MIND-craft.
Here are the fruits of his labor.
Not every state can have the most fuckable trees.
JUST TRY THESE TREES. SEE WHAT HAPPENS.