We Inform The Guys Of "Awkward" Of Who They'll Be Sitting By At Tonight's VMAs
We talked to Beau Mirchoff and Brett Davern about whether or not it's going to be "Awkward" when they sit behind the cast of the Jersey Shore (because their show, Awkward, was renewed while the shore was canceled). Also, The Situation apparently owes Beau $100!
Snooki And JWoww Claim That Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino Is Gay
It's a claim that ex-"Jersey Shore" cast member Angelina has been suggesting since she parted ways with the show and now Snooki and JWoww are telling The Huffington Post that The Situation is, in fact, a closeted homosexual. Suddenly, all of Mike's failed attempts at hooking up with girls at the club make so much sense.
Jersey Shore Trap
An equal and opposite reaction to the Hipster Trap. Spotted outside of a New York City bar, this spring-loaded snare contains Drakkar Noir cologne, bronzer, a schedule for the Long Island Railroad, PATH tickets, hair gel and a gold chain. If she were caught in one, Snooki would gnaw her own leg off.
The Situation's Banned Jokes, Presented By The Leprechaun
The Situation's comedy routine at the roast of Donald Trump was instantly hailed the worst thing ever, but it somehow just got worse. Comedy Central deemed a joke aimed at Snoop Dogg as too racist and cut it from the broadcast. Here is that joke, plus a few more offensive cracks at the expense of Marlee Matlin and Larry King that were omitted, as told by the The Leprechaun from "Leprechaun." Y'know, because it's St. Patrick's Day. Shut up.
MTG The Situation
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino's Magic The Gathering card: GTL, double strike, boardwalk (This creature is unblockable as long as defending player is also on a Jersey boardwalk.) When The Situation comes into play, put four 1/1 Guido creature tokens onto the battlefield. T2: Until end of turn, all Guidos have "3, Sacrifice this creature and put a Guido Grenade into play: Guido Grenade then deals 5 damage to one target."
The Cast of Jersey Shore 10 Years From Now
Sure, they’re making $10k an episode to three-way kiss grenades and verbally abuse Angelina, but that money isn’t going to last forever; Valtex isn’t cheap! At some point, the Jersey Shore kids are going to need to get real jobs. Here’s what we think they’ll be doing ten years from now. [By @AndrewMCass. Photoshop by me].