I mean, wouldn't it be cool to not have to double over on the couch after dinner?
Keeping gravy warm in a coffee thermos! Why didn't I think of that???
You'll probably still have a minor panic attack at some point during the holiday, but at least it won't be because of the food.
Number one — carve that bird in your kitchen in peace, not at the table.
Unfortunately the only correct way is SLOWLY.