Reporting To You X

Sex Toys

A robotic sex toy was selected as an honoree for the Consumer Electronics Show’s Innovation Awards, until CES said it was "obscene."

Ho ho ho(rny), Merry Christmas to us all! *shuts door*


It's time.

'Cause you should go and love yourself.


This week we have stories about Churchill, Alex Jones, and a bag of sex toys.

In the years I worked at a sex shop, I saw how the pressure to have great sex — in a world that will never be a level playing field — can inflict its own kind of damage.


Because why not?

Top-rated and best-selling sex toys that'll bring the ~good vibes~ no matter where you are. The products in this post were updated in September 2018.

What's your state's ~sex toy personality~?

A mystery.


Kinky on a budget.


Keep it sexy!


Il est peut-être encore temps de les mettre dans votre liste de Noël, parce que c'est pas vraiment donné.

Tbh, these are the best vibrators, butt plugs, and dildos in my sex toy drawer this year.

Say goodbye to your salary, guys.



No judgment.

Because you deserve something special every dang day.

Note to self: set up automatic reply to "Go away."


Do you like your toys super cheap, super expensive, or juuust right?

♪ Dancin' with myself, oh oh uh oh... ♪

Add them to your holiday wishlist/treat yo' self list.


To foreplay? Or not to foreplay?

"Oh! I was thinking a blaster!"


I'm not even sure I've heard of the body parts some of these are meant to be used on.

"You know, the vay-nya is nature's's natural."

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me!

"Meine Mama hat meinen Klitoris-Stimulator für ein Gesichtsmassage-Gerät gehalten."

Sex toys: they're not all fun and games.

In the world’s largest democracy, Amazon Prime Video deletes most nudity and profanity, Google bans retailers from buying ads for erotica, Amazon and Flipkart refuse to sell adult products, and Tinder suggests its users should get parental approval for their dates.

Wir sind nicht alle hypersexuell.

The discount site Wish makes all your shopping lists (including its large array of sex toys) public under your real name.


Fifty shades of mimosas.

*Accomplishes one small task* TIME FOR A MASTURBATION BREAK.

What sexy, sexy deals.

Say goodbye to your salary.

We're not all nymphomaniacs.

Orgasms from sea to shining sea.

You're welcum.


Just because it looks like it could go up your butt doesn't mean it should.

"There's no way this sex toy, meant to simulate oral, was designed by a woman."

So...basically everything.


Let’s get down and dirty.

Live your truth, you know?

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