*Accomplishes one small task* TIME FOR A MASTURBATION BREAK.
What sexy, sexy deals.
Say goodbye to your salary.
We're not all nymphomaniacs.
We want to know what gets you going (anonymously if you prefer).
Orgasms from sea to shining sea.
Just because it looks like it could go up your butt doesn't mean it should.
"There's no way this sex toy, meant to simulate oral, was designed by a woman."
Let’s get down and dirty.
Live your truth, you know?
Because everyone needs a Hello Kitty dildo. (NSFW, obviously.)
Flowers die. Butt plugs are forever.
From dildos to prostate massagers, who even needs a Valentine?
Because sometimes you've got to DIY.
Step right up and cure your hysteria.
“But where would this even go?"
Amazon users keep ~coming~ back to these NSFW products.
Maybe you should just live by yourself.
NSFW (and maybe not safe for opening up in front of family, either).
Do you forego foreplay?
Here are the toys that keep Amazon reviewers coming back for more.
How often do you REALLY wash those bad boys?
See if you can get through this without swearing off sex forever.
Your wallet and vagina will thank you.
Sometimes, orgasms don't come cheap — but they really should.
*buzz, buzz, buzz* We have a winner!
Go ahead, leave them on your bedside table.
It's time to show your butt some serious love.
Because you deserve it.
Where on my body would you like to lick p*ssy juice off, Nick?
Poké Balls sold separately.
A bang for your buck.
One of these objects isn't quite what it seems.
Only one of them has a vibrator. Guess who.
Having fun can get pretty pricey.
Kind of SFW.
More like dildon't.
"Men are going to become irrelevant."
You want me to put on the strap on? Sure, gimme 3 hours.
"Das gefährliche Ende einer 1885er Springfield-Muskete."
But why is there an alien dildo that lays eggs inside of you?
The bedroom has never before been this plugged in, according to new data.
Because getting hot doesn't have to be a bother.
They stocked with the kids toys...
♫ Let’s get it on. ♫