Pockets! We demand pockets!
You've spent your entire life hearing the phrase, "You're the perfect height for an armrest."
On playboys: "When he came outta his mama, the nurse didn't slap his booty. He slapped the nurse's booty."
"I'll poo myself before I poo in front of her".
I mean, you definitely couldn't get married on your lunch break and divorced by the end of the day.
Honestly, not getting the Happy Meal toy I wanted sounds like a good problem to have.
Oh, you want to see my essay? Sure, let me just open UUUUUGH.doc...
There was NO way Anushka Sharma didn't recognise her husband in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.
You deserve a medal for watching The Bachelor without wine.
I KNOW I'll look amazing in 20 years, okay?! I just wanna look fly right now :(
We're rare birds of paradise, so enjoy us while you can.
Burritos are just so beautiful...
They all fit weird!
"My bikini bottoms were floating on the water"
Oh, how I wish I could beat my face like a REAL makeup blogger.
"It has it moments...but it's still fabulous."
"Lazy, narcissistic, and irresponsible." Pfffff.
Oh, hello everyone else's nipples.
Once you put a bobby pin in your hair it's lost forever.
"When you wake up with the Skip-It theme stuck in your head."
This: "95 SPF and we'll be alright."
@TheSimsProblems has got your back.
It's shite being Scottish.
"People who write 'should of'. #EnemiesOfThePeople"
“I used to want to become best friends with my crush FIRST, just so I could have the whole 'Rachel & Ross' scenario.”
This is a shoes off household.
Your phone rarely has more than 10% battery.
Sometimes honesty isn't the best policy.
Maybe Rachel's 'thing' will always be a mystery.
Oh you wanna send that back after eating three quarters of it? Cool.
How did this look so good on the hanger?
"How is it the morning already?"
Sometimes really cute..is actually really cruel.
Belly dancing, unnecessary orientalism and headdresses galore
How many alcoholic beverages are too many?
Sometimes the only way to move forward is to face the thing standing in your way!
Ah, my head is an armrest again. Brilliant.
Don't say it will "all be OK," because that just makes it definitely NOT OK.
Boob deodorant? Oh yes, I've got that.
"Anyone wanna borrow my SPF 100? Anyone?"
OK Pokémon Go, we get it: we're all terribly out of shape.
The cat has the deed to your home. And your life.
Do you know how?
Думай, как первоклассник.
What the fuck do you mean "new and improved" Shapes?!
"Buying ONLY what you went to Ikea to buy is not a thing."
"Do everything you can in those four years!"
Only problem with science…is people.
Long hair really is a b*tch.