They turned out fine, so will you. (Not that you're going to fail. I REPEAT, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FAIL.)
The broadcaster and evangelist did not accept the award in person.
Yep, he actually said that.
Robertson, who finds porn "boring," is mystified by the book's success.
Romney ally is joking. But, "something's got to be done," he tells a man whose wife won't submit.
Welcome to the culture war? "The subject has been the economy, is the economy, and will be the economy," says Fehrnstrom.
Dating advice from the 700 Club. She sounds very sweet but breaking up is the "Christlike" thing to do.
Robertson tells a 700 Club viewer what to do about her friend's Buddha statue. "Break it. Destroy it."
Sometimes (and by sometimes I mean basically never) Pat gets it.
And the black reporter on his show claims that it is a black thing and that it "trips her out" that more people don't like mac and cheese. In what world and year was this filmed?
Apparently churches shouldn't celebrate the dead rising from their graves. Pfft.
The holy man says demonstrations should only be held for those who are oppressed.
It's all fun and games until you realize you're actually going to have to sleep with him. Kristen Stewart manages to pull off "nervous virgin" pretty well, actually.
Because they can't have kids of their own. If you spend too much time thinking about everything that's wrong with this rationale, your brain will explode out of your ass.
Andy Borowitz channels Pat Robertson.
Sarah Benincasa proposes a simple solution to our little problem with P-Robz. Because he's never going to learn unless we dole out a fair punishment. Oh, Sarah. You're so wise!
Riki "Garfunkel" Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci sing a pro-gay marriage song in response to a Pat Robertson quote that legalizing gay marriage would lead to legalizing sex with ducks.