New baby, new jokes.
Let's drop some knowledge on new parents.
"You're going out again?! Save some money!"
This might not give you baby fever.
"Nothing like that post-pregnancy shed!"
Here's the stuff I wish I'd known about sooner.
Of course, her baby is the greatest gift.
These baby bags are anything but basic baby bags.
You're doing fine, I promise.
"You're going to go deaf listening to music that loud!"
"It was an electrical burn and there was nothing they could put on it due to her being able to lick it."
Go out at night. You will melt.
One Snapchat post said, "How I currently feel about these mini Satans"
"Every day I have a few mandoline slicer injuries."
You're going to want to bookmark this.
Now this is baby mama drama.
Reese, can you adopt me?
Good news: it rhymes with cheap ;-)
"Oh! I have a board for that!"
The baby isn't the only thing you deliver.
Don't ever ask me what's for dinner.
When is Target going to start providing daycare?
Teach me your ways.
You will never use the term "blowout" the same again.
When did I shower last? What are real pants? I smell like milk.
We want to know which products save the day!
Crap, I'm leaking again.
These are long overdue.
Push it, push it real good.
There comes a point in every pregnancy where you just say, "Fuck it."
Welcome to baby boot camp.
What fresh hell is this?
Mother's Day One.
It's funny 'cause it's true.
Mama's got style.
Those first few months are guaranteed to freak you out.
Your baby won't remember any of this... You hope.