I didn't choose the married life, it chose me.
Oh you wanted me to wait to watch Game Of Thrones? WHOOPS.
Go the f*ck to sleep
"I bought a Fleshlight because my wife never wants sex." All confessions courtesy of Whisper.
The only thing to fear is everything.
Your shared lives...visualized.
"When will it be your turn?!"
What you don't expect when expecting.
Based on the actual recommendations of the ASPCA
Here's a tip: don't listen to anyone.
What's on your pre-baby bucket list?
Let's make a baby. Or die trying.
♫ You belong with meeeeeeee ♫
It's the little things. That drive you nuts.
Did you back it up? Do you even know how to do that?
Because nothing says "I love you" like a posting embarrassing pics of your boo.
"Will there be food at this thing?"
Did you see what she was wearing?
Let's get it on — but after you brush your teeth.
Get rid of it! But don't kill it!
It's never what you expect...
Because nothing says you care more than a courtesy flush.
Do Not Disturb. We're trying to figure out how the shower works.
Happy Halloween from the Weird Couple.
When one of you gets sick, the other gets sick — of you.
It's really not that boring, guys.
You knew what you were getting into.