The bus driver turning off the engine.
A pigeon flying into your head.
What's better, north or south of the river?
£1.5 million for a house is a fucking joke.
Just add a moustache.
"Countryside" = everywhere in the UK apart from London.
Shoutout to women who can do their makeup perfectly on the tube.
"Could you move down a bit please?" = "If you don’t, I will start killing indiscriminately."
The north/south London divide is very, very real.
"Shall we say Leicester Square at 7pm?" *Deletes match*
Against all odds, in a display of incredible courage, thousands of Londoners are bravely watching daytime TV in their pants.
It's over. The idiots won.
Can you move down the carriage please?
Before I came to Oxford Street, I was a good person, I was a happy person.
London may be the UK's biggest city, but it could still learn a lot from New York.
See you in Angus Steak House?
Because there is NO better feeling than the tube doors stopping exactly where you're stood.
There is nowhere like London. How could you live anywhere else?
"Tube problems" = I'm probably hungover.
Cringeworthy confessions that will make you want to remain single forever. Via Time Out.
Don't let LDN get you down.
I'm not sorry. Not one bit.
Is the woman on the tube pregnant? Do you need an umbrella? Should you go to the pub? We help you tackle the capital's hardest questions.
You live in the capital? How fascinating.