"I made an autocorrect shortcut on my mom's phone to replace dirty laundry with the text of Ulysses."
Fifty Shades of Sleigh. Thanks to #NoelANovel on Twitter.
"The first rule of Hobbit Club is there's no Tolkien about Hobbit Club."
"I used to love correcting people's grammar until I realized what I loved more was having friends."
I'd explain these to everyone else, but I would prefer not to.